Planet of the Dinosaurs
Release: November 18, 1977
Starring: James Whitworth, Pamela Bottaro, Louie Lawless
Runtime: 84 Minutes you’ll never get back
Where you can find it: Free with Amazon Prime
Review by: Sam
Plot: In the distant future, a space ship spontaneously explodes over an uncharted planet. A handful of survivors manage to escape in time and crash-land on the mysterious planet. They soon discover that the planet is inhabited by blood thirsty dinosaurs! One by one, they are killed by dinos and their own utter stupidity. Will they survive long enough to be rescued, or will they be trapped on the planet of the dinosaurs forever?!
My Thoughts: I first saw this flick when I was a little boy around the age of nine or ten. I saw this bad ass VHS tape with bad ass looking dinos and sexy survivors hiding in fear of them. PotD was one of my first lessons about the honesty of a VHS cover…they lie…
PotD is one of those weird movies where you don’t know how to score. It is plain awful. The acting, the story, the pacing are all absolute crap. However, I love this movie. It’s so damn bad, you manage to find some form of enjoyment out of its total crapness. I strongly recommend watching this with a handful of drunk friends. That is probably the best way to enjoy this “film.” Grab some friends, snacks, and a ton of some alcohol. You’re going to need it for this picture.
Pros and Cons (beware of spoilers)
- The idea is brilliant! Lasers, space ships, and dinosaurs all in one movie?! That is an awesome combination! This movie needs to be remade. I would love to see an action movie with thunder lizards being blown apart by lasers & shit!
- The dinosaurs are fan-freaking-tastic! The claymation is on point. When the dinos show up, they steal every second of the film. The T-Rex scared the hell out of me when I was a little boy.
- One dude had a cool beard. I want his beard.
- Everything that involves the T-Rex. It is a great villain! I love his design and how imposing it is. He can just show up out of nowhere and wipe out whatever gets in its way. I really like the part where they finally manage to kill the beast with a big ass spike. It kind of runs into the spike like a dumb ass, but it was awesome.
- Everything else about the movie. While the idea is great, the execution is gawd awful.
- Very bad pacing. It can get pretty boring.
- The music sounds like it was just one dude on a soundboard fucking around. Most likely stoned out of his mind too. The best way to describe it: if a fart was turned into music, then that is what the soundtrack sounds like. Total fart music.
- The acting is pretty bad. The guy with the WINNING beard is decent, but everybody else is just awful.
- The movie should have been called Walking: The Movie. Nine times out of ten, you are just going to see characters walking from one end of the frame to the other. All while fart music is blasting in the background.
- Things get really exciting when they stop and talk about “will they ever be safe” or whatever time filler bull shit they needed to pad out the run time.
Last word & Score: In the end, I’m glad I re-watched PotD. It is bad, but it’s a movie drenched in nostalgia for me. I still remember my dad groaning in pain when I demanded that we watch PotD on tape when I was a little kid. Ironically, he likes it more now than I do now!
I give Planet of the Dinosaurs a -5 out of 5. It’s so bad, it’s good!
The dinosaurs get a solid 5 out of 5. Love them!
From what I understand, all the money was put into making those dinosaurs look good. The filmmakers didn’t have much money for the rest of the film or even to pay the actors! FBT!