Planet of the Dinosaurs (Review)

Planet of the Dinosaurs

Release:  November 18, 1977

Starring: James Whitworth, Pamela Bottaro, Louie Lawless

Rated: N/A

Runtime: 84 Minutes you’ll never get back

Where you can find it: Free with Amazon Prime

Review by: Sam

Plot: In the distant future, a space ship spontaneously explodes over an uncharted planet. A handful of survivors manage to escape in time and crash-land on the mysterious planet. They soon discover that the planet is inhabited by blood thirsty dinosaurs! One by one, they are killed by dinos and their own utter stupidity. Will they survive long enough to be rescued, or will they be trapped on the planet of the dinosaurs forever?!

My Thoughts: I first saw this flick when I was a little boy around the age of nine or ten. I saw this bad ass VHS tape with bad ass looking dinos and sexy survivors hiding in fear of them. PotD was one of my first lessons about the honesty of a VHS cover…they lie…

PotD is one of those weird movies where you don’t know how to score. It is plain awful. The acting, the story, the pacing are all absolute crap. However, I love this movie. It’s so damn bad, you manage to find some form of enjoyment out of its total crapness. I strongly recommend watching this with a handful of drunk friends. That is probably the best way to enjoy this “film.” Grab some friends, snacks, and a ton of some alcohol. You’re going to need it for this picture.

Pros and Cons (beware of spoilers)

PROs

  1. The idea is brilliant! Lasers, space ships, and dinosaurs all in one movie?! That is an awesome combination! This movie needs to be remade. I would love to see an action movie with thunder lizards being blown apart by lasers & shit!
  2. The dinosaurs are fan-freaking-tastic! The claymation is on point. When the dinos show up, they steal every second of the film. The T-Rex scared the hell out of me when I was a little boy.
  3. One dude had a cool beard. I want his beard.
  4. Everything that involves the T-Rex. It is a great villain! I love his design and how imposing it is. He can just show up out of nowhere and wipe out whatever gets in its way. I really like the part where they finally manage to kill the beast with a big ass spike. It kind of runs into the spike like a dumb ass, but it was awesome.

PlanetofdinosaursCONs

  1. Everything else about the movie. While the idea is great, the execution is gawd awful.
  2. Very bad pacing. It can get pretty boring.
  3. The music sounds like it was just one dude on a soundboard fucking around. Most likely stoned out of his mind too. The best way to describe it: if a fart was turned into music, then that is what the soundtrack sounds like. Total fart music.
  4. The acting is pretty bad. The guy with the WINNING beard is decent, but everybody else is just awful.
  5. The movie should have been called Walking: The Movie. Nine times out of ten, you are just going to see characters walking from one end of the frame to the other. All while fart music is blasting in the background.
  6. Things get really exciting when they stop and talk about “will they ever be safe” or whatever time filler bull shit they needed to pad out the run time.

 

Last word & Score: In the end, I’m glad I re-watched PotD. It is bad, but it’s a movie drenched in nostalgia for me. I still remember my dad groaning in pain when I demanded that we watch PotD on tape when I was a little kid. Ironically, he likes it more now than I do now!

 

I give Planet of the Dinosaurs a -5 out of 5. It’s so bad, it’s good!

The dinosaurs get a solid 5 out of 5. Love them!

From what I understand, all the money was put into making those dinosaurs look good. The filmmakers didn’t have much money for the rest of the film or even to pay the actors! FBT!

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  • 🦄Sam

    Kinda

  • No WAY! It will be MUCH more torturous to watch it sober!

    XD

  • Arphemius

    Hilarious! I remember watching this movie a few years ago when it was rerun on a B-movie tv-channel. Damn that was some bullsh*t. Like, Jurassic Park’s Triceratops levels of bullsh*t. That’s what makes it fun though.

  • One Mat Gang

    Well this movie was made on the day of my birth. So… yeah that’s all the positive stuff I can say about it. Also as you noted the cover art is nice.

  • PQG 1991

    I guess I’ll wash the curiosity away with alcohol and watch this movie hahaha

  • PQG 1991

    WTF!!

  • UilickMcGee
  • Assuming by the lack of mentioning it, that there aren’t any boobs…pity.

  • Steve

    Careful of curiosity… a dude just died yesterday from a horse dong in the butt.

  • Steve

    They even threw in the Millennium Falcon.

  • holybagpipes

    Well there go my expectations.

  • Villain

    I love it! I wish the poster art form would return.

  • 🦄Sam

    Very curious.

  • 🦄Sam

    Check it out, but do it drunk

  • 🦄Sam

    The posters are the best thing. They tried to steal from SW is some of the other posters. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3b6ee0d3190fba66971fac5e3770ceaa5ee2aa65fed5b7e16eee54a886a8d4fd.jpg

  • 🦄Sam

    That’s the ticket!

  • 🦄Sam

    Don’t be fooled!

  • “Runtime: 84 minutes you will never get back.”

    X’D

    I actually want to watch this movie now!

  • PQG 1991

    I’m curious about this movie, but not curious enough to watch it yet.

  • Steve

    This looks awful. I think I will get drunk and see it.

  • Villain

    Solid review Sam. The poster looks like its the best thing about this movie.

  • holybagpipes

    The more I see the second gif the more awesome it looks.

  • 🦄Sam

    TGO will be up soon. This post was mainly a test run for me. I’m going to start plugging this channel more.

  • Dave79

    Well, I looked around. Saw one message that was 13 days old. I think I’m out of the loop. Hope you guys are all ok. What I found looked interesting. Sorta like old movie when family visits unused summer house and everything is covered with sheets. I’ll try to keep an eye open for grand opening!

  • 🦄Sam

    Glad you liked the review!

  • Dave79

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/110b4061518209ebef41e99ef00787caef95866ed56228dfa86e928685ef7e25.gif
    Hey, Sam. Nice review. You’ll rarely find me watching a film that isn’t at least fifty years old. I just found an old invite to this site. I’ve been really busy the past couple of days. Gonna tour the joint and look around.