Bulgingsnake is not dying. I repeat, BULGINGSNAKE IS NOT DYING. You may have read his post yesterday about the alleged death rattle… but it’s completely untrue. The fact of the matter is that BS is suffering from chronic laziness. He is literally too lazy to continue living. Sometimes I wonder if he hopes for illnesses so he doesn’t have to justify going to work, or taking out the trash… death gets you out of these types of things.

Bulgingsnake is a lot of things — hypochondriac, hypocrite, lazy, crabby… — but he is not dying. Not any time soon anyway. I believe he will spend the next 50 years of his life thinking every day is his last… not in the YOLO adventure seeking kind of way… in the grumpy old man who yells for kids to stay off his lawn way.

Before you all start writing eulogies, and practicing your grief face in the mirror so you can convince your psych that you need Xanax and Zoloft… I repeat, Bulgingsnake is not dying.

….carry on.