BULGINGSNAKE IS NOT DYING

Bulgingsnake is not dying. I repeat, BULGINGSNAKE IS NOT DYING. You may have read his post yesterday about the alleged death rattle… but it’s completely untrue. The fact of the matter is that BS is suffering from chronic laziness. He is literally too lazy to continue living. Sometimes I wonder if he hopes for illnesses so he doesn’t have to justify going to work, or taking out the trash… death gets you out of these types of things.

Bulgingsnake is a lot of things — hypochondriac, hypocrite, lazy, crabby… — but he is not dying. Not any time soon anyway. I believe he will spend the next 50 years of his life thinking every day is his last… not in the YOLO adventure seeking kind of way… in the grumpy old man who yells for kids to stay off his lawn way.

Before you all start writing eulogies, and practicing your grief face in the mirror so you can convince your psych that you need Xanax and Zoloft… I repeat, Bulgingsnake is not dying.

….carry on.

  • Bulgingsnake

    YES I AM GODDAMN IT!

    • RockMomster

      No babe. You’re not. Furthermore if you refuse to see a doctor it makes me believe that you only feel like you’re dying when I need you to do stuff… like… get the washer and dryer on the back room.. or change a poopy diaper.

      • Bulgingsnake

        I just had a death trimmer!

      • RockMomster

        …. it’s probably gas.

      • thereforeiam

        I got an electric trimmer.

      • RockMomster

        Fbt!

      • Fred Ziffel

        Too late… The washing machine is in the back yard.. I think I saw your blow dryer out there too…

      • RockMomster

        Those are our lawn decorations. When in Rome

      • Bulgingsnake

        That a weird name.

      • RockMomster

        Fbt!!!!!

      • PQG 1991

        The only thing they remembered about him were his last words… not even his name. RIP

  • Villain

    I want to see the doctors note.

    • PQG 1991

      I agree…

  • PQG 1991

    Well that’s great news! Although he should probably go to a hospital if he is feeling sick or has the symptons he described…

    • RockMomster

      I agree

    • RockMomster

      Well now that I know. I know it

  • Jerry Eldini

    OK, so, this means I don’t get the moped?

    • thereforeiam

      Nope. It’s just a ped.

  • thereforeiam

    Well crap that’s not good. If he were actually in the final semester of life among us mortals the content quality would be stellar. But now it’s gonna be the same disappointing crap every day? I can live with that. Change the damn diaper!

  • Mr. Perfect

    I can just picture a 70 year-old Bulgingsnake fist pumping after successfully getting kids to get off his lawn. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/37f08ae701869300f12188ce1258f5a486998071fc2a7082383e73c38f7a7fa4.gif

  • Dave79

    That’s good news, Momster…but I’m keeping my new prescriptions.

    • RockMomster

      Sharing is caring