BULGINGSNAKE IS NOT DYING

Bulgingsnake is not dying. I repeat, BULGINGSNAKE IS NOT DYING. You may have read his post yesterday about the alleged death rattle… but it’s completely untrue. The fact of the matter is that BS is suffering from chronic laziness. He is literally too lazy to continue living. Sometimes I wonder if he hopes for illnesses so he doesn’t have to justify going to work, or taking out the trash… death gets you out of these types of things.

Bulgingsnake is a lot of things — hypochondriac, hypocrite, lazy, crabby… — but he is not dying. Not any time soon anyway. I believe he will spend the next 50 years of his life thinking every day is his last… not in the YOLO adventure seeking kind of way… in the grumpy old man who yells for kids to stay off his lawn way.

Before you all start writing eulogies, and practicing your grief face in the mirror so you can convince your psych that you need Xanax and Zoloft… I repeat, Bulgingsnake is not dying.

….carry on.

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  • RockMomster

    Those are our lawn decorations. When in Rome

  • PQG 1991

    The only thing they remembered about him were his last words… not even his name. RIP

  • Fred Ziffel

    Too late… The washing machine is in the back yard.. I think I saw your blow dryer out there too…

  • RockMomster

    Sharing is caring

  • RockMomster

    Fbt!!!!!

  • Bulgingsnake

    That a weird name.

  • Dave79

    That’s good news, Momster…but I’m keeping my new prescriptions.

  • RockMomster

    Fbt!

  • thereforeiam

    I got an electric trimmer.

  • thereforeiam

    Nope. It’s just a ped.

  • Mr. Perfect

    I can just picture a 70 year-old Bulgingsnake fist pumping after successfully getting kids to get off his lawn. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/37f08ae701869300f12188ce1258f5a486998071fc2a7082383e73c38f7a7fa4.gif

  • thereforeiam

    Well crap that’s not good. If he were actually in the final semester of life among us mortals the content quality would be stellar. But now it’s gonna be the same disappointing crap every day? I can live with that. Change the damn diaper!

  • Jerry Eldini

    OK, so, this means I don’t get the moped?

  • FBT

  • RockMomster

    Well now that I know. I know it

  • RockMomster

    …. it’s probably gas.

  • RockMomster

    I agree

  • Bulgingsnake

    I just had a death trimmer!

  • PQG 1991

    Well that’s great news! Although he should probably go to a hospital if he is feeling sick or has the symptons he described…

  • PQG 1991

    I agree…

  • Villain

    I want to see the doctors note.

  • RockMomster

    No babe. You’re not. Furthermore if you refuse to see a doctor it makes me believe that you only feel like you’re dying when I need you to do stuff… like… get the washer and dryer on the back room.. or change a poopy diaper.

  • Bulgingsnake

    YES I AM GODDAMN IT!