When I finally kick the bucket and I’m instantly zapped to heaven for my judgment, I will be rather nervous standing before my maker.

So when god says to me ‘explain yourself’, I’m going to reply ‘can I get someone to show me around this joint, I don’t even know if I like it here yet’.

This comment will throw god completely off, and as he sits there on his throne Bedazzled, that will give me enough time to whip out my 9 and put a bullet in between his eyes.