Review: Radiator 2

Description: A free collection of three short experimental games (Hurt Me Plenty, Succulent, and Stick Shift) about male sexuality, punishing, eating, and driving.

Platform: PC(Steam)

Developer Interview: 

Q: Will playing this game turn me gay?
A: Yes.

The main menu greets you with a shirtless dude cradling a beer bottle near his crotch. Nope nothing gay there so far. Well it’s time to start off with the first game ‘Hurt me plenty’.

(Note: The default mouse sensitivity sucks so a gamepad is highly recommended)

So you receive a phone call with presumably the same bare-chested specimen that we saw in the menu. Okay tap to take the call, all right now I’m shaking hands violently with him in order to strike up a conversation. Well from what I can make out he wants me to slap his butt cheeks silly with a shovel at a traffic stop. Seems reasonable.

Now you’re introduced to fully animated butt cheeks so you basically hold down the mouse button and smack away. It starts out pretty well until I notice a timer on the phone. Wait what? Panicking, I slapped that swollen butt into oblivion despite constant protests from him(The AI is pretty advanced here).

Okay then! Than went rather well! Is he up for another round?

After giving him a very weird massage while discussing whether to jam a firecracker up his ass, I’m greeted with an angry text message while a countdown timer starts(his butt cheeks have a cool down period, I assume). Well shoot. Oh well on to the next game!

‘Succulent’ involves you ramming a popsicle down a dude’s throat while his minions do the crotch dance in the back ground. The controls are similar to the previous game so rinse and repeat. After two minutes of constantly jamming that ice pop stick up his mouth and hearing a lot of gagging(The game reminds you that sound is important here!), I give up and greeted by a disappointed look on his face. Well that was a waste of a perfectly good popsicle.

One more to go then! ‘STICK SHIFT’!!!

So here you have to move a gear shift while a dude seems to get completely ecstatic when you shift gears. Normally, a stick shift is not the ideal sex toy plus I’d be more worried about oncoming traffic.

Off we go! Well if the acceleration wasn’t so slow but the developer wanted a sensual experience! With a car. Right, so you hold down the mouse button to give gas while you let go and hold it down to shift gears while monitoring the speedometer. If you shift at the wrong speed, the car stalls and the dude ends up with the look of a confused chicken.

So we set off again and after reaching the 6th gear(which magically pops out of nowhere!), I’ve come to the conclusion that the dude is a space alien trying to find a way to get back to his people given that lights are coming out of his eye sockets. Or that he might be facing the most severe case of carbon monoxide poisoning.

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So mission accomplished? Nope. There he is smoking away while his car discharges some leaky fluid out the exhaust. Okay, he’s not a space alien, the dude really wanted to bang his car.

Well that’s Radiator 2. Three mini games about butt slapping, popsicle wastage and auto-erotica. There’s nothing gay about all those things! I want my money back! Oh wait it’s free.