ELEPHANT RAPE WENT DOWN TODAY, AND I WAS THE VICTIM!

I was outback behind my barn in the front yard. I was milking my pigs (pig’s milk is wonderful during the summer in sunny side Florida)

Well, as I was finishing milking the last boar with my mouth an elephant bum-rushed me! This elephant gave me TOTAL RAPE!

After the elephant was done with me, I had a severe case of ‘ass bleed out’. Ass bleed out can kill you if you don’t get it treated in time, but luckily I had a stitching kit with me to stitch back up my ravaged butt hole.

I always keep a butt hole stitching kit with me, I get raped by animals a lot.

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  • Fred Ziffel

    It does burn a bit but “stupid glue” works so much faster..

  • PQG 1991

    Elephant rape is one of the great dangers of this world, right up there with Squirrel rape.

  • Jerry Eldini

    You know what I call a man who carries around a butt stitching kit? A winner,

  • Why is this a thing?!

  • It will be something you will never forget.