I CAN’T FUCKING WIN!

I was just outside being patriotic, I had sparklers in my hand and I was saluting the USA flag…. BAM, TOTAL RAPE!

THE USA BIRD CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AND ASS BLASTED ME!

My son Cockroach is stitching up my butt hole as I type this.

I didn’t realize getting raped by animals was such a common event.