I JUST RECEIVED TOTAL RAPE FROM A GODDAMN ARMADILLO!

I was just outside car watching, when BAM! — A GODDAMN ARMADILLO AMBUSHED ME!

The armadillo tackled me to the ground and whispered in my ear ‘you’re going to take everything I give you to take’.

Total horror crept over me as I was totally raped for 8 hours straight!

I’m getting stitched up as I type this.

There is no shame in coming out when you’ve been sexually assaulted by an animal.

  • Bulgingsnake

    My goddamn art team is getting rather lazy!

  • RockMomster

    It looks natural

  • Bulgingsnake

    I guess you’re right.

  • RockMomster

    He looked like a fun time

  • Villain
  • Beastly beast

    Ass destruction from various wildlife!!

    only on:

    THE GREAT OUTDOORSMAN!!!

  • Bulgingsnake

    That’s right

  • Bulgingsnake

    That’s a cartoon, you can’t fool me

  • RockMomster

    My tatas look amazeballs today

  • holybagpipes

    At this rate, you’ll need to install a velcro strap over there.

  • Bulgingsnake

    Afraid not bro

  • Jason

    I think you need to invest in some “rape repellent” spray. It’s made by Wayne Enterprises and should be located next to the “shark repellent.”

  • holybagpipes

    Robin’s already used up all the repellent.

  • Bulgingsnake

    So?

  • Bulgingsnake

    I’m on it!

  • UilickMcGee

    I got fisted by an elephant when I was five.
    Now I walk around with an anus like an open barn.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e6770f37056834c439c269bd9bcafcaf86bb7fa2ea577c04ad3740bd517e8d63.jpg

  • Steve

    That looks like a fake penis.

    An… armadildo, if you will.

  • RockMomster

    It’s just a fact

  • RockMomster

    Fbt

  • Bulgingsnake

    Nothing beats a good fact

  • thereforeiam

    An Armadillo? Gawdam you’re slow. I’m beginning to think you’re just in it for the ass raping. I can dig it..

  • PQG 1991

    I’m beginning to think that the way to prove if there’s extraterrestrial life in other planets would be to send you there and see if you get raped by aliens hahahaha

  • thereforeiam

    Found him

  • Louie

    Total? Three holes??

  • Fred Ziffel

    So is Donald duck, or Mickey Mouse but you see em walking around Orlando from time to time.. Hell, I’ve bought… Err…I mean, anyone can buy an “Arthur costume” on line…

  • Fred Ziffel
  • One Mat Gang

    I sure hope that armadillo doesn’t catch those zebra AIDS you got yesterday.