• holybagpipes

    “I was banging her asshole because a gerbil got lodged in there and I’m trying to suffocate the little sob!”

  • Bulgingsnake

    THAT WOULD NEVER WORK!

  • Villain

    This wouldn’t work for me because it would probably be my cock that she was choking on.

  • holybagpipes

    I got a service community award for pulling that off.

  • Bulgingsnake

    You don’t say

  • Steve

    And if you’re caught by your wife banging a dude?

    Yell “NO HOMO!”

  • holybagpipes

    Well that’s what the hobo said when I was locked up.

  • holybagpipes
  • General Meowsers

    Here’s an old boilermaker’s tip:

    If you burn your finger from touching a hot weld, pinch your ear lobe with your burnt finger and thumb.

  • One Mat Gang

    If you say “Woops!” after any action, that automatically make it an accident. Then no one can be mad.