Alcoholics can eat!

Alcoholics can be seriously frustrating. I say this from experience.. not even just past experiences… current.. this is currently happening at the BS house.

An alcoholic is least obnoxious when they are drinking.. it’s after that sucks balls. In the last 48 hours I’ve had to deal with classic alcoholic behavior.

1. Alcoholics claim they are in fact.. not alcoholics… while they get into a drunken argument with you ending in “you’re chubby” as a comeback. Classic. You’re clearly running on all cylinders.

2. Even the most germophobe people will piss all over the damn toilet seat when they’ve had a few too many. The man who doesn’t like to fart inside his own pants during the day, because ya know, “poop particles”, will leave a bathroom looking like R Kelly had a one night stand with it. (I literally sat in a puddle of piss at 2 a.m. ….disgusting.)

3. The most obnoxious of all facts about the alcoholic…. they never stop fvcking eating! Especially when they are starting to sober up! If at first you can’t drink your worries away… eat them. I guess. I have no idea why else they would eat everything in the fridge with or without and expiration date on it.

I cooked a big pack of sausages last night, and made pasta sauce and pasta for dinner (with sausages and steak in the sauce). My plan is always to use those sausages for two dinners. Not this time! Captain ‘Snake was in town! He not only ate a few last night at dinner… but then ate another 6 (that’s, six, for those of you that still don’t understand.. that’s 1.2.3.4.5.6! llllll <- that many.) … he then proceeded to dig through the leftover pasta sauce to eat all the meat-leavins left in there too! (And I don’t even know if he remembers he is hiding a slice of pepperoni pizza inside of a Chinese takeout container!)

To my surprise there were no sausages left in the fridge.. or the sauce… or the house. BS strikes again! …to top it off… he left the evidence (an empty ziplock bag) on our kitchen table as a trophy for beating us to it.. I guess. Psychological warfare.

 

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