Dragon Age 2 is probably the dumbest game I’ve ever played

My head hurts even thinking about it.

I really think it should have been called ‘Dragon Age Fuck Everything’ since it takes a royal dump on the previous game which is one of the finest rpgs ever to grace our screens.

The combat’s shiny but it’s a pain just to get things done the way you want. The characters are laughably forgettable. You come across the same dungeon about 50 times(deja vu’s a bitch ain’t it?). Also to add insult to injury one companion quest makes you kill a couple of bandits so that she can date a guy. Man couldn’t she use tinder or something?

Also none of the relationships you build have any meaning or purpose. Finally Varrics the most annoying Hobbit I have come across. Tolkien would be terribly disappointed.

 

  • holybagpipes

    You did the right thing.

  • holybagpipes

    I agree man. Plus it didn’t feel like an epic journey like the previous game where the fate of the entire world rested on your shoulders.

    But seeing that you could play as commander shepherd through all the mass effects, I found it strange that they abandoned the Grey wardens story apart from a couple of cameos here and there.

    Also some quests had really vague triggers like the one where my expedition survived but my sibling has to die since I didn’t bring the right character to save her with me.

    Even one of the boss fights had me running around like Benny Hill since my health kept running out and I had to wait for it to regenerate so that I could score a hit and scoot off.

    That stupid fight took me 15 mins to finish.

  • Beastly beast

    Even though inquisition gets a lot of crap…. its FAR better than DA2.

    I actually liked hawke as a character. His beard is epic.

    I even liked some of the things thy did with the plot towards the end with the whole morally grey war of beliefs thing.

    It was an important step for bioware even though thy didn’t quite nail it.

    But most of the companions are straight up stupid as shit. Varric is one of the most memorable… and he IS annoying.

    The rest were ugly weird or bitchy or some combination of the three. The hottest chick in the game is the nasty pirate slut.

    Which is cool and all but damn bioware…. just because you’re going for morally grey doesn’t mean everyone has to be an ugly piece of shit.

    This is the same company that put Miranda from ME2 on screen…. who was world endingly hot because… she was designed to be hot as fuck.

    DA 2 was the start of biowares current problems. Their focus is all over the place and they are so focused on big market principles that they have forgotten to just make a great roleplaying game with a great story.

    I still like Andromeda…. it’s a good game. But I miss the old bioware.

  • I totally forgot about this game.

  • holybagpipes

    That’s the most badass reply I’ve ever witnessed.

  • Bulgingsnake

    I know everything

  • holybagpipes

    Did you know that this game was responsible for the fall of the Aztec civilization?

  • Bulgingsnake

    People aren’t fond of it