So, how did your week start?

I woke up this morning balls-deep inside a dead horse. Didn’t even glove-up. Then I burned my eggs and stubbed my toe off the fridge.

I tried to take a beer-sh*t at 11am, but the toilet in work looked like an Auschwitz out-house, so I just went in my pants and blamed it some chick in work who was jam-ragging and complaining about her cramps. Works every time!

Creepy Face

The rest of the day was a horrifying cake of adversity; iced with disappointment, impotence and failure. I punted a small kitten into the local canal for a bet, then I bit the head off a swan and tried to use it as a sex-implement on my own mother.


I ate tortilla chips for dinner and shame-bated to Rick Moranis.

  • RockMomster

    May the swartz be with you

  • Bulgingsnake

    RE7 kicks ass!

  • UilickMcGee

    This is true. For a random Disqus wanderer I lucked out pretty well.
    Had a crack at the Resident Evil 7 VR mission at the weekend.

    I can definitely see this being a thing for me, of for no other reason than scaring me into an early grave…

  • UilickMcGee

    I am the keymaster!

  • One Mat Gang

    Which era Rick did you think of? Ghostbusters, Spaceballs? Hopefully not Honey I Shrunk The Kids.

  • Bulgingsnake

    Look on the bright side. You’re friends with the most legendary American of all time, and you’re part of the TGO family.