Breaking: Tom Cruise and Bulge will star in Buddy-Samurai film!

It wil be called The Last 2 Samurai. It will be about two American samurai that go CRUISING for butt hole across Japan. Their journey is inturupted when a prostitute is murdered during a gala of a major Japanese company. Our heros must now work with Japanese authorities and uncover the why the prostitute was murdered. Any relation to the plot of Rising Sun is coincidental…