House Subway is Always on Watch

 

There I was, Thursday night and the special of the day was BMT’s. I could feel their presence lurking in the shadows waiting for the time to strike. Sam and I were frantically preparing the defenses knowing only a miracle would hold their onslaught. There was a faint sound in the distance of reeeeeeeee… and we knew BMT’s would soon be upon us. Then it happened, right as our watch was about to end and the light at the end of the tunnel was shining, a blue falcon appeared. His pants were at his ankles as he shimmied into the store. Sam and I braced for the ensuing fight to come. Then as he approached us we asked fearfully what we could get for it. Then in a shrieking high pitched voice, he said 3 BMT’s. The harbinger of doom was upon us and the BMT’s would show no mercy. Sam and I fought valiantly but no amount of skill can prevent the BMT from penetrating your rectum. We survived that night but would never be the same. We felt the icy sting of BMT and would never be the same. Always know, right when you think your shift is coming to an end, that is when the BMT’s will strike.

 

Side note, a new video is out on my YouTube channel.

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  • For the anus.

  • Yes

  • finthefastman

    You have no idea.

  • PQG 1991

    Erm… sounds traumatic

  • finthefastman

    I smell a salt check. In my time in the Corps, we had to carry 100 to 135 depending on if you are the gunner or not. 90 pounds sounds like an easy day, easier to maneuver and burn fewer calories marching. Plus Nam was a mixture of man vs man and man vs traps. Now it’s 90% man vs bombs, I will take my chances in Nam where there is a better chance that I get to see the man killing me.

  • Jerry Eldini

    Mmm… BMT’s, yeh. Reminds me of ‘Nam. Humpin’ up and down the mighty Annamites, fighting heat exhaustion and malaria. Searching the bush for Victor Charles and his precious BMT’s. You slog through the mud and the sweat and the blood seeps through your cammies as the straps on your 90 lb pack of ammo and C-rats tears at your shoulders. You spend days in monsoon rain with little or no sleep with laser focus on each step until the moment your point man, “Little Elvis” stops dead in his tracks and shoots a closed fist into the air, then spreads his fingers and waves his hand! Everyone hits the deck and spreads out, crawling into position on the jungle floor as a Viet Cong patrol ditty bops straight into your waiting hands. “Little Elvis” goes to town letting some double ought buck do the talking for him, metal flies through the swealtering air in all directions as you crawl towards the enemy, and then you have him, Nguyen Van, his neck clenched in a shaking fist! With your free arm you struggle to get his BMT away from him. You smash your forehead viciously into the young rice farmers face untill the blood runs freely onto the red clay jungle floor and then you finally get control of the BMT. You then brutally ram the BMT into charlies doomed butthole, over and over in an almost mechanical fashion untill the young mans rectum is complety destroyed and left lifeless amidst the inhuman carnage. Yep, BMT’s. Those were the good old days…

  • Thomas Cruise

    That’s what the Irish call “winning.”

  • finthefastman

    Better to go bare, nothing stops BMT’s. All it would do is lodge a beard guard in my ass, like a keepsake.

  • finthefastman

    I prefer the term sheath 😉

  • Beastly beast

    Yea…. a shitty one.

  • One Mat Gang

    They make ass-beard guards? Is it like a reverse thong?

  • Beastly beast

    Is that Finn?

    That dude must need a big ass beard guard!

  • I dig it.

  • finthefastman

    Impossible, BMT’s have +45 armor pen. with special first hit ability of full dry pen. to the anus. It’s OP

  • Bigger Meatier Tastier.

  • finthefastman

    It stands for Bigger, Meatier, Tastier rape. Whenever someone comes in late at night, they always order it just to fuck you.

  • 🦃BlueBlondie🦃
  • One Mat Gang

    You should consider growing an ass beard. That thing looks impenetrable. May keep the BMTs out.

  • 🦃BlueBlondie🦃

    Gobble gobble

  • 🦃BlueBlondie🦃
  • Baby Sister

    heading out.. have fun

  • Baby Sister

    lol

  • 🦃BlueBlondie🦃

    Nah, it’s Turkey time.

  • Baby Sister

    u should do a tiger or a panther or something like that

  • 🦃BlueBlondie🦃

    Nah, I’m a Turkey now. It was time for a change.

  • Baby Sister

    u didn’t have to take it down.. i thought it was cool

  • 🦃BlueBlondie🦃

    Nope.

  • Baby Sister

    r u sams girlfriend?? u got the same unicorn thing going on

  • Baby Sister

    lol ok

  • 🦃BlueBlondie🦃

    Big Man Tart

  • Baby Sister

    whats a bmt??

  • finthefastman

    BMT’s have no chill, only Netflix and rape.

  • FBT, good times! Loved the post Fin. BMTs are a Total Corgan.