HORRIBLE NEWS: THE BFG SEXUALLY ASSAULTED ME!

I read the real life story about the girl & the giant, and the magical adventure they had.

Well, I set out to find the BFG so I could have a magical adventure of my own.

When I finally found the BFG, I said “excuse me Mr. BFG, give me some adventure”. Then he said, “you got it”.

HE WHIPPED OUT HIS BIG FRIENDLY DICK AND MADE MY FACE HOLE RIDE IT!

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I’m calling the cops.