Attracted to house plants?

“Dendrophilia literally means “love of trees”. The term may sometimes refer to a paraphilia in which people are sexually attracted to or sexually aroused by trees.”





Best comment:



Absolutely correct. Absolutely horrifying! House plants are severely mismatched in the power dynamic.  Who knows how many house plants are assaulted everyday? It needs to stop. Submission is not consent.


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  • Baby Sister

    the trick is u don’t use your mouth as much as your hand.. make sure 2 rub the under side of their dks and put your thumb on the tip on the bottom of the dk where u dudes have that weird thing happen and it looks like a sandwich folded over there. most dudes think u can deep throat them and u cant cause they aren’t big enuff and just go back enuff 2 make u choke and want 2 throw up so use your hand mostly and your mouth only on the end as much as possible cause they don’t know the difference with the condom on anyway and it goes faster. oh!! also when they say ‘all the way back’ or ‘deep throat that sht’ cause that always comes blowing them sooner or later just look at them and say something like ‘but my daddy didn’t teach me 2 do that yet’ if their regular dudes cause that makes them 90 percent ready to explode like that sec or say ‘but mommy says good girls don’t do that’ if their ‘daddies’ meaning they want u 2 act like their your dad doing u. it makes it go faster and dudes don’t ever get pissed 4 getting blown 2 fast cause i think they get more scared about not going all the way 4 the money they r giving u

  • Bulgingsnake


  • Baby Sister

    if u don’t like it i can teach u how 2 make them do it faster 2 get it done

  • Baby Sister

    i get what ‘woody’ means now

  • Jokes Teller

    My favorite plant is the Penis Fly Trap. It knows its way around dick like no other.

  • Howdy Doody ✅ CONSERVATIVE
  • Howdy Doody ✅ CONSERVATIVE
  • thereforeiam

    Everybody knows an ant can’t move a rubber tree plant. But I will finger the life out of a philodendron.

  • Steve

    Great. Now I get to feel guilty when I go home and fvck my fern.

  • holybagpipes
  • holybagpipes


  • Bulgingsnake


  • maybe I’ve been judging people/plant relationships too harshly i need to be more progressive and understanding

  • I’d never assault a plant. They are 100% defenseless. Actually that is kind of turning me on know that I think of it.

  • Raythedevil

    Fuck trees, gimme a good prickly pear any day.

  • One Mat Gang

    I’m sorry. Some stuff I grow gives me a raging boner. You’re alone in the garden, a plant looks thirsty. You’re gunna water it. Things happen