I died in my sleep last night for several minutes before my dog brought me back to life.
Anyway, as I was in heaven about to be judged, Jesus was next to God whacking off! I played my cool and went up to shake gods hand. Well, like a stupid dumb dumb, I tripped and my mouth landed on JC’s cock and balls!
God looked pissed, nobody blows his number 1 butt-buddy!
Right when god was about to send me back to earth (since Lucifer doesn’t want me either) I woke up to my dog resuscitating me with snout to cock fellatio!