TGO Exclusive: Kermit the Frog Touched My Pee-Pee Parts

I’m sure this comes as a shock to all of you, but please give me a second to explain this situation. It was 1991 on my third birthday and as a gift from my parents I received a Kermit the Frog plush/stuffed animal. I wasn’t really familiar with the character at the time because I was only 3. The Muppet Show days were long over and they hadn’t released a movie in a few years so they weren’t exactly the most relevant characters at the time. Anyhow, I still accepted the gift.

7:30 hit and my parents put me to bed like they usually did, but now with my new Kermit in my arms. It was no time before I was fast asleep. I awoke a few hours later to hear a distracting slapping noise and when I opened my eyes I was shocked to find my brand new friend Kermit stroking my 3 year old crank. I was horrified. Not only that, but it turns out that Kermit had brought his own friend to our surprise party. I look back to see Jim Henson’s hand stuffed firmly into Kermit’s ass. The worst part about it all was that a few years later I noticed that Jim Henson died in 1990. Who the fuck was that guy then? After a few minutes of unwanted handjob Kermit began to ride me like the bicycle from The Muppet Movie. I felt confused and violated. Shortly after that he was gone and I never saw him in person again.

This is not something that I ever felt comfortable talking about, but after several months of people coming forward and telling their stories about molestation at the hands of celebrities I feel that now is the perfect time to tell my story. I watched Kermit have triumphs and some failures over the last 20 years. I must say that I was thrilled to see that his recent TV show failed a few years ago and that Ms Piggy divorced him. She must have figured out what Kermit was doing to children and chose not to stand by him.

I’m hoping that this post will allow other people who have been molested by a fictional character to come forward and tell their stories. It is a tough time now.