Florida Man Paralyzed After Chasing Monkey 

… who stole his hat. 

I know what you’re thinking.. how did he become paralyzed chasing a monkey who stole his Steelers hat? Well, this true Floridian (vacationing in Bali) was chasing that monkey on a rooftop… And fell 33 feet trying to get his Steelers hat back.

I mean… The Steelers? That’s a long way down for the Steelers.  Just sayin.