That Time I Was Most Wanted

One time I had a warrant for my arrest and didn’t know it until I watched the news.

I saw I was listed in “Most Wanted”. I live in a small town the cops know where I live. I called the PD and was like “Wtf? “Most” wanted? Ya’ll ain’t even been to my house… and you’re gonna put my face on the news!? That’s fucked up!”

Thomas AKA Tommy




The real crime was that blonde hair.


Jesus Christ that hair..


The cops said they didn’t pick who was put into the most wanted section that the media did those selections.


I always thought that was reserved for dangerous criminals that were actually at the top of the list for police to apprehend.


It isn’t.

The media tricked me again. Dammit.



a hardened criminal eating hummus