So I have this thing and I dont know what to do with it!

Im 21 now but it wasnt always that way….just a few years ago I was….younger…and naiver then I am now but anyway it was some time ago and I was at a park just watching the dogs and their owners waiting for my brother and an old man approached me he was seriously panicked and said he needed my help.
So being the kind Kid I was I asked what the man needed he assured me it was perfectly legal. And that he wasnt in trouble because hes a bad person or because he stole something but he needed my help to hide something he promised to fetch it when he got the chance. I asked him what it was but the man just said it’d be too dangerous to tell me so he took me behind a tree and asked me to drop my pants. (since we all know that’d be the safest place where most are least likely to look through) I gritted my teeth bent over and closed my eyes and felt it go in and after a few minutes of struggling he said I could straighten up and open my eyes the first thing I noticed was that his pants were down but the old man assured me he wanted to be as gentle as possible while pushing it deep enough so it doesn’t fall out till he needs it again and doing so would take time he only removed his pants to get comfortabl. He was a really nice old man and gave me some change for an ice cream before he waddled off no one came by asking where he went and its been a few years and it still hasn’t fallen out but the man never returned and im still waiting. So old man if your out there iv got your stuff!!