Those awesome reptiles that you pay a ton for at pet stores up north… they are getting their brains bashed in by researchers in Florida.
You read that correctly.. “researchers” are using blunt-force-trauma to kill iguanas because they are taking over the state.
Now, when I read the original news article I pictured guys in lab coats grabbing their club and lunchbox and heading off to work for a lucrative day of reptile brain bashing — but they are actually using those captive bolt guns that are usually used on cattle… veterinarians everywhere are freaking out saying that there must be a more humane way to kill these creatures (not the cattle.. because, fck cattle apparently.. the iguanas). Vets are suggesting to “put them to sleep”.. euthanasia .. really? You’re going to sedate each iguana individually? Any idea how many freaking iguanas are in FL? Enough to have to bash their brains in without PITA getting involved apparently..
Now it got me thinking, how would one sedate and euthanize all these lizards without costing the state a lot of time and money… and I pictured Schindler’s List, but with Iguanas.. black and white Jewish lizards with their arm band on their tiny little iguana leg…. with their tiny Jewish iguana curls and tiny little checkbooks… crawling into a dishwasher-sized box where multiple iguana-jews are gassed at once.
…. I feel like that’s wrong too.