Does Anyone Really Give a Fuck About the Royal Wedding?

Why are all the new outlets insistent on commenting on the royal wedding all the time? Besides my grandmother I don’t think I know a single person who give a fuck about this. I guess we’re pretty close to the end of all the coverage because the wedding itself is tomorrow morning at about 4 in the morning where I live. I think you’d have to be crazy to wake up that early to watch a wedding. Going to a wedding in person isn’t even that lame.

What I find even weirder is how much coverage the wedding gets from American outlets. You Americans haven’t been affiliated with the royals for hundreds of years. The Canadians still are somewhat. If people actually respond saying they are interested in the wedding obviously I’ll be proven wrong and I’ll shut up. I just don’t feel like anyone really gives a shit about it. The media just reports about it to fill their newscasts because they don’t have anything better to talk about.

Plus, Harry is the younger son. He’s not even going to get to be king unless like six other people die. Meghan Markle is hot, but I’ve still gotten tired to seeing her. Unfortunately, she has disappointingly small tits.

Do you care about the royal wedding?