“Bartender! I’ll take another round!” Han had spent most of his life running. Running from trouble, running to the women, running out of time. Solo felt like it was time to settle down. He had watched friend after friend find their true love. First Chewbacca and R2-D2. Then Luke and Leia got their incest on. Just recently he heard that Lando had become involved with both Boba Fett and Darth Vader. Here was Han, the sexiest man in the universe, left without a dance partner in life. Han tipped his space beer back and chugged. He eyed up the red stain spot in the cantina where Greedo used to be. Maybe his time had passed. Maybe he would live up to his name. Solo. All alone. Last call was made at the bar. Han slowly stumbled toward the door. Outside he looked around. Where was it? Then he found what he was looking for.
The Millennium Falcon. It was a great sight for weary eyes.
“Hey ya old hunk a junk” slurred Han “it’s just you and me tonight ”
Han looked around and could see the memories of all the romantic endeavors he had enjoyed on the Falcon. The crusty jizz stains were everywhere as a reminder of all the conquests he had notched.
“I got nobody left!” Yelled Han
“I’m going to die alone! I just wanted someone to love me!” Han burst into tears. His sobs were suddenly interrupted by a familiar noise
“BLEEP BLEEP BLOOP BLEEP”
That was no droid noise. Han knew exactly what that was. He followed the noise to the source. Face to face with the thrust controls, Han listened closely, trying to decipher what the Falcon was saying. Suddenly Han jumped back. Could it be true, he thought. The message the Falcon was sending was communications he had never heard before
“Han, two hunks travel the night sky, together as one. It is our destiny written in the stars”
Over and over the Falcon repeated this romantic series of bleeps and bloops. Han began to deeply contemplate the words. It made sense. They were meant for each other. Two space hunks. He had always admired the Falcons cockpit
And he loved the Falcons rear end
Han loved being inside the Falcon, he had countless orgasms inside this ship. It all came together in his mind. They loved each other. Han had been inside the Falcon. But he had never been “inside” the Falcon. He looked at the thrust controls.
I’ll give you a thrust!'” Laughed Han. “Or is this the LUST controls?”
Han slowly leaned in. He could smell the Falcons musk. He became very aroused.
Han let go of all his inhibitions and went for it
He began to passionately kiss the thrust controls. Han unzipped his pants and began to push his meat into every available port. For nearly an hour Han made love to the Falcon like he had never been able to before. Filling each crevice with man juices. Finally done, Han leaned back in his Captains chair and said
“I love you Falcon”
“BLEEP BLOOOP (I Know)”