Hey TGO, if you guys are anything like me then you are no stranger to consuming lengendary amounts of cannabis and cannabis related products. And along with all that dank chrondo comes the inevitable and dreaded “M ‘n M’s” lately in order to keep from forking out the green for new clothes, I have been counting calories to keep from putting the pounds on.

Every potato is unique and different and for me if I take in only 2000-2200 calories per day I wont gain weight. At 1500-1700 per day I will steadily drop pounds with no additional exercise. Because I cannot control myself or limit the types of food I eat, let me tell you, dropping the calories can be a bitch. Especially when your favorite food is pizza.

Recently while grocery shopping wasted I came accross this little jewel.


You’re not seeing things people. That lower right corner actually says 310 calories per 1/2 pizza. If it says anything else, you’re just hallucinating. Its a Mick damn frozen box pizza with a friggin  cauliflower crust! Fucking genius! It is distributed by a company in Ventura Ca so clearly this is made with stoners in mind. Here is what half of one looks like out of the box.


Yeh, I know. Not real impressive lookin’, and no, it’s not handmade by a hot young housewife from the greater Sarasota area but Mick damn people, 310 calories!!

Ok, now because I have no real self control and those friggin munchies are serious shizz I add approx. 190 additional calories of shredded skim mozzarella cheese, crushed red pepper (fuck yeh!), and sliced pepperoni baby!! Here is what it looks like after a check up with Dr. 420.


Ok, now I got that fucker on an oven safe crisper grid thingy my wife bought somewhere and into the oven it goes for about 15-17 min. at about 365°.

Here is the final 500 calorie result.


The final result tastes pretty decent. You can taste a subtle cauliflower flavor in the crust and I think its actually Cauliflower mixed with some sort of bread after reading the ingredients on the box but it is approx 200 calories less than any previous way I have figured out to make an edible low-calorie pizza. This and a salad (tossed) makes for low calorie chow fit for a stoner!

Not like it’s actually healthy or anything. It wont get you into fit or anything fancy like that but it may help keep you outta fat yo!

Peace out TGO!