My old man is a blast. I clearly get all my winning personality traits from him. I took him out to an early fathers day breakfast and boy did he not disappoint. We went to a decent restaurant that overlooked a beautiful golf course.
We got seated by super flaming black gay guy who was cool and all just really really flamboyantly gay–I got his number when we left. Then we sat for over 10 minutes before anyone acknowledged us. Meanwhile the two tables that had people got waited on hand and foot while we sat and gave them the stink eye. I made a crack about leaving if we didn’t get served soon and that got my old man all fired up. When the waiter did finally come over my dad fired off. “How many waiters do you guys have we’ve been sitting here for 10 minutes without anyone coming over…..how many cooks do you guys have are we going to get our food in the next 20 minutes or are we going to be here for an hour with our thumbs up our asses….” The waiter replied” I am so sorry sir I’ve been tied up with a bunch of orders I do apologize….your meals should be out in a reasonable amount of time”. My dad gave the guy the once over look and said “I can go to Denny’s and get better service as a black man than this place.” The waiter apologized again and said he promised things would be done in a timely manner. Timely manner is code for it will get done when it gets done. But after that great exchange my dad settled down and we ordered. We got the same omelet and we both were supposed to get salsa on the side but the cook fucked that up and put salsa on top of one of them. My old man said he’d take the one with the salsa cause I was getting pissed. I told the waitress who dropped off the food it was supposed to be on the side…..she apologized and said she could send it back and make a new one….my dad said he’d try it. I took a small taste of the salsa and it was burning hot. My dad took a few bites and I could tell he didn’t like it so I told him just send it back. Which he was hesitant in asking cause he didn’t want to wait forever for the omelet to be cooked again. Meanwhile my mom who also joined us was having a Facebook dilemma. One of her friends posted an offensive meme of Robert De Niro. It had a guy with his face up his ass. Well my mom didn’t like that and asked my old man if she could make a nasty reply about how such things were inappropriate because what if her granddaughter saw that or something. She wouldn’t say anything that nicely though my mom never does. But she had to get my dad’s blessing cause the guy was my dad’s friend also….more his then her’s actually. I had to but in and say my two cents. I told her first….that’s the internet….followed by…. just avoid the drama and unfriend the guy. I’m pretty sure that remark was not heard by my mom’s bad hearing…even though I repeated it about 5 times. I could tell my mom wanted to piss off the guy cause he pissed her off. I told her nothing you say to him will make much difference he isn’t going to change his views on anything. Oddly enough the guy is a former police detective I had met the guy before back in the day when my parents used to be apart of a biking club….yeah my parents used to be bikers. The guy got me a killer ride along with a gang unit once. The discussion went round and round and I’m not sure a solution was agreed upon but my dad more or less told my mom to do whatever he didn’t care. Anyway the meals eventually got all fixed and tasted pretty good. I gave my old man his gift. A shirt I made him because he likes building crap out of wood in his garage with the million machines and gizmo toys he has. Which instead of being thankful and impressed he seemed almost upset because he didn’t like the idea of advertising his hobby because then people might ask him to build stuff for them….which he does already but still.
Do you have winning plans for fathers day or great old time stories? I look forward to ignoring all answers.