I got my first real ice cream truck. Bought it at the five and dime. Drove until my fingers bled. Was the summer of sixty nine.


Oh when I look back now that summer seemed to last forever. Those were the best days of my life. I had the route of a dream. I was the only ice cream guy around in those early first few weeks. I’d ride up and people would practically beg to suck on one of my big popsicles. They were that good.


Of course I sold other things to lick and suck on also.


Like those yogurt push up pops….


And of course regular cones and stuff.  But my popsicles were the most popular of all the items I sold.


Yes those were the days back in the summer of sixty nine. I’d even invite people back into the back of my van to just hang out and suck–you could do that back in those days.


There was a lot of sucking going on in the back of my van.


Sometimes I’d get a group of friends and just go cruising and  sucking.


Things were going good until this guy Tony showed up. Tony was a real ass. He knew I had exclusive rights to the route I was on but he didn’t care. He started undercutting me and taking all my customers. Soon people were flocking to his truck to suck on things instead of mine. I don’t know how he did it but he was selling stuff bellow costs. I couldn’t compete with that. I was just about to throw the towel in and give up the sucking business when this happened…..


That’s right Tony got busted because he was a former sex offender and forgot to register as one in the area. So his little sucking scheme got shut down and mine took off again with him out of the picture.


Sucking was back to normal again for a few weeks after that until another guy showed up on the seen and really changed things.


Big Gay Ice cream stormed the seen and crushed my little operation. This guy was selling premium stuff to suck on. Not only was he selling it he was also sucking it himself. You never suck the merchandise rule number one…..but he didn’t care.


Well needless to say Big Gay Ice Cream shut me down for good after only a few weeks. He offered me a job but I told him to go to hell I suck for no one but myself. The summer of 69 really sucked but at least for a little while it was the best time of my life.