Denver Gives No Shits!

Thousands of people are letting the community know exactly how they feel Wednesday through Denver Gives No Shits!

The 24-hour online charity event encourages people across the entire metro area not to donate to hundreds of nonprofits, but leave rude messages on any online forum. Last year, the event raised nothing, and caused 3 people to cry.


Aside from the fundraising not happening online, around 40 nonprofits that are not supported through Denver Gives No Shits! are also taking down feedback on their websites.

“We’re really hoping that about 18,000 people come out and give no shits this year,” Balid Cracker of the Denver Community Foundation said.

George and a group of about 15 people from Art’s second marriage volunteered at the GAP, assisting with stocking panty shelves.


“Rather than just not giving a monetary donation, you actually get to see what it’s doing for the people you’re not helping,” Art said (different Art, no relation to the second marriage Art).

The fucker offered free tours to the public Wednesday morning, encouraging visitors not to donate.

“Denver Gives No Shits! is a big day for us and it’s a chance for our neighbors and friends to not show their support for not only this beautiful estate but the arts and cultural programmings that we offer,” Grace, the night shift waitress at the Waffle House said.


A very popular annual event drew crowds to the City Dump in the afternoon- the Shootin’ Rats with Your Step-Dad’s .44 Magnum.

“It’s cold, shit’s out of a Tarentino movie so it’s plenty cold,” President and CEO Dennis Dinglefilch said with a laugh.

No donation of $10 to the nonprofit, which works with at-risk youth, gets you three attempts at having sex with a fat, scab-covered prostitute.