Bulgingsnake on Administrative Leave?

TGONN – The Lord of TGO, Bulginsnake, is on administrative leave after sending a directive to staff to ban certain religious Christmas decorations on the most legendary entertainment website of all time.

Site spokesperson, identified only as “Cockroach,” said BS thinks he is in charge and did not consult with administrators about policy concerning the handling of religious holiday themes, or penises.

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The organization, Gay Milk, got wind of the cult leader’s memo and sent a demand letter to the supervisor of his mom’s neighbor asking them to lift the Christmas ban, and spread the Christmas cheer by showing a little underboob.

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The list of “not acceptable” practices include:

  • Santas or Christmas items (clipart) on articles
  • Christmas trees in asses
  • Elf on the Shelf – that’s Christmas-related (as opposed to the non-Christmas-related Elf on the Shelf bullshit you see the rest of the fucking year)
  • Singing Christmas Carols (Singing Christmas Carls are still ok)
  • Playing Christmas drinking games
  • Sending a book that has more words than pictures
  • Making a Christmas ornament as a gift – This assumes that you can make something that is not all fucked up
  • Candy Cane – that’s not the Christmas-related stripper
  • Red/Green items – traditional items from a Canadian Hillbilly show (that means no duck tape)
  • Reindeer (tape)
  • Christmas videos/movies and/or characters from Christmas movies” (unless pornographic in nature)

The “acceptable” list included:

  • Dongs
  • Cocaine
  • Snowflakes (liberals)
  • Gingerbread people (correction, he thought that was naked redheads)
  • Holidays Around the World, so long as they’re all in Florida
  • Slutting (that’s where you tie 8 prostitutes to your moped and have them drag you down the street)
  • Hot chocolate, the stripper
  • Bi-Polar Bears
  • Penguins fucking Bi-Polar Bears
  • Scarves, boots, earmuffs, and hats (no condoms)
  • “Yetis” and “Olaf” (the snowman from the movie Frozen) having a spit-roast with Elsa

Cockroach said Snake’s memo “did not reflect his dong, but almost.”

He sent us this statement:

“The Great Outdoorsman administration promptly addressed the issue at TGO regarding the memo that was sent by Bulgingsnake to the TGO staff. The memo does not reflect his dong, but almost. We have since clarified expectations and provided further direction to staff in alignment with TGO official policy. This issue was limited to TGO and did not arise at any other sites within the internets.”

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