So the Kevin man has been in the news a bit lately. Aside from what he is accused of doing I still think he was a great actor who will probably never act again at least in the United States film industry. CNN recently posted a story about how he groped an 18 year old kid that after reading I admit I had to scratch my head for a second. You see after reading what he was accused of….to me at least….he sounds innocent. Let me explain.
According to the CNN story Spacey grouped a busboy at a Nantucket bar. For those of you who don’t know were Nantucket is it is a tiny, isolated island off Cape Cod, Massachusetts. Anyways, as the story goes Spacey was at this bar and at some point started talking to a busboy. The busboy apparently told Spacey he was 23 even though he was only 18. Kevin then started buying the guy drinks. Now it isn’t unusual to buy a stranger a drink at a bar whom your talking to. Guys do it for other guys and obviously for woman. But when the drinks keep coming…..well that is usually a sign the person really likes you. And if that isn’t a sign well when the person who you are sharing drinks with starts talking about their big penis you should start getting the hint. But let’s take a step back for a second. Kevin was still in the closet at this time and a huge star so this guy could very well be star struck as he claims he was. However, Kevin then started rubbing this guys thigh. At that point I think the hint should be clear. But apparently it wasn’t. So Kevin then unzipped this guys pants and started playing with his penis…..for three minutes. Never did the guy try to stop him apparently. Well the guys says he tried to move Kevin’s hands away. Yet he still managed to rub his penis for 3 hole minutes? Now I was pretty naive at 18 I admit. So I can buy into some of what this guy is saying. If some famous guy rubbed my thigh I’d probably shift away and being star struck not say anything. But the minute the guy reaches for my penis, if I didn’t punch the guy in the face, I’d surely walk away and not stand there and let him rub me for three minutes. Unless I liked it. This guy apparently filmed a few seconds of this rubbing and sent it to his girlfriend. Now Spacey is accused of groping this guy two years later.
This guy at anytime could have walked away. He did eventually but to me he sure seemed to give all the signs he was ok with Kevin hitting on him. This is what gay and straight guys do in bars. You buy people drinks and flirt and then at some point make contact physically. This is bar humping 101 stuff. Anyone who hangs out in a bar knows this stuff. Even if you are naive once the touching happens and you aren’t into the person you don’t stick it out for 3 minutes and even film some of it. Flirting happens at parties, concerts, anyplace people gather for some type of social event. And when alcohol is involved people get more handsy more quickly. Kevin did not just walk up to this guy and grab his penis. That would be groping easily. He went through all the social steps for flirting…..he broke the ice and talked first, then bought him drinks, talked about sexual organs, then first touched his thigh……and then finally went for the penis. Now times maybe are changing…but Kevin dropped all the right hints along the way. The guy says he tried to stop Kevin….but come on. Three full minutes of penis grabbing.
Now the guy claims he didn’t want to say anything because he was underage and drinking. Call it a lesson learned but if you don’t want some guy grabbing your penis don’t lie to them about your age and then sit and talk with them then let them buy you drinks then let them rub your thigh first. Maybe a jury will find Spacey guilty of groping but if it does you mine as well start closing down all the bars and clubs out there or stop going to them because you could be accused of groping someone you met at a bar several years from now and it just isn’t worth it.
Groping is bad and people should be held accountable for it when it really happens. But when people are hitting on people and follow the social code that eventually leads up to physical contact in a bar setting where things move fast I think those lines are blurred. People are trying to read situations and hints. Kevin saw the lack of no rejection as he continued to escalate things as a go ahead to move on to the next phase.
Now I can’t speak for anything else Kevin has been accused of. But to me this particular incident sounds like a normal pick up artist move you see in bars across the world by people trying to pick people up at bars to get laid.