Weird Things Old People Do

  1. Keep their thermostat at a freakishly high or low level. Its either way too hot or way too cold.
  2. Go to the grocery store a half hour before it opens.
  3. They can’t pump their own gas because their old hands have lost their kung fu grip.
  4. Complain about everything being too expensive now.
  5. Drive slow.
  6. Take really small steps when they walk.
  7. Drive a Toyota Matrix.
  8. Give their grandchildren ridiculously small amounts of money on their birthday because they don’t understand inflation.
  9. Walk out the “if door opens alarm will sound” doors at the mall.
  10. Try to shoot squirrels that are getting into their garden with a ridiculously overpowered gun. Like a 12 gauge.
  11. Buy hearing aids, but then never wear them.
  12. Use the N-word.
  13. Watch movies where the main cast are also old. I bet you a lot of them watched Book Club
  14. Comment on every Facebook post they read.
  15. Attack people during PTSD flashbacks.
  16. Fart like 5 times more than the average person, but never actually take the blame for it.
  17. Pull fire alarms in public places during anxiety attacks.
  18. Go to the bathroom every 15 minutes.
  19. Hit on family members because they can’t remember who they are.
  20. Shit their pants and then a nurse has to clean their clothes.
  21. Watch 3 hours of news a day.
  22. Go to bed at 7:30

What are some other weird things old people do?