Two years ago I finally told my military buddies I couldn’t make it to the annual hunting trip. It bout ripped me apart, but I just couldn’t take it to go on another trip with the boys. Sure the nights in the sauna are heady events that otherwise would never be witnessed, but my olfactory system cringes at the thought of the annual trip. You see our sergeant Olaf Burgenmeister stinks like shit. You know that odor of piss , shit and fish that seems to ooze from a persons skin? Yea he’s got that, no amount of tanning lotion, or Passion Island mango massage oil/body lube can cover it. Back in Nam no one cared , what with the constant burning of villages and drinking with Asian hookers no one noticed the stank. Once we got home though the smells of the fox holes never left Olaf. It’s as if fish sauce and open septic systems followed him home. Sure he wears cologne, but no amount of old spice can cover the smells of Da Nang emanating from the sarge.
Well I had to change things the best I could, so I said I couldn’t do it. I did however get on the internet and do a bit of research. Seems like the Sarge suffers from Trimethylaminuria, that’s a fancy way of saying he smells like shit. According to the internet if he ate a magnesium supplement the smell would possibly go away, but what am I going to do? Force the guy to eat magnesium, so that us guys can sweat it out and exchange massages in the sauna after a long day of hunting big game without extra Passion Island mango?
So now I ask you sage Outdoors-a-dites what are your tricks for ridding your sauna of the smell of fecal and body lube?