I Am Sam

I Am Sam is one of the most ridiculous movies I’ve ever seen, but its definitely in the top 10 tard movies of all time. The film stars Sean Penn, Michelle Pfeiffer and Dakota Fanning. This movie came out at a time where it seemed like Sean Penn was getting awards attention for pretty much every film he did.

In I Am Sam Penn plays this guy who is obviously a tard, and not a mild one, but somehow he’s got a daughter who is probably 5 who is somehow sort of functional. I’m sorry, if you come from a single parent and on top of it they’re a tard, you’re fucked. You’re not going anywhere in life.

So, Sam gets his kid taken away, which probably should have happened then Michelle Pfeiffer has to help him get his kid back. Which somehow he does. So, needless to say you need a bit of suspension of disbelief. Sure, if you want Sam to get his kid back at the end of it but he shouldn’t. The people who gave him that kid back will probably be responsible for her death in one way or another.

Probably the thing I Am Sam is most famous for now is the Robert Downey Jr. quote from Tropic Thunder

 Everybody knows you never go full retard. Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, ‘Rain Man,’ look retarded, act retarded, not retarded. Counted toothpicks, cheated cards. Autistic, sho’. Not retarded. You know Tom Hanks, ‘Forrest Gump.’ Slow, yes. Retarded, maybe. Braces on his legs. But he charmed the pants off Nixon and he won a ping-pong competition. That ain’t retarded. He was a goddamn war hero. You know any retarded war heroes? You went full retard, man. Never go full retard. You don’t buy that? Ask Sean Penn, 2001, “I Am Sam.” Remember? Went full retard, went home empty-handed.