Total Tard Transportation: The Recumbent Bicycle

Is there anything more annoying than amateur bicycle guy? Some elitist Tard with a $3000 bicycle and $4000 worth of spandex

If there’s anyone that annoys me more, it’s the sub genre of biking known as recumbent bicycles.

Recumbent bicycles are set up so the rider sits in a reclined position. This is supposed to give the rider a more ergonomic ride. Their weight is evenly distributed compared to a traditional bicycle design. Recumbent bikes date back to the 1890’s. But the early designs were not popular.

The bicycle land speed record was broken on a recumbent. The World Cycling Council banned these bikes from competition in 1934.

It wasn’t until the late 1970’s that these bikes took off in popularity. There was a Tard boom worldwide, and these Tards needed a way to get around. What better way than the Tardmobile

Nothing says “I’m a cock sucking Tard” like an adult riding one of these stupid getups down the road. I seriously want to run over everyone of them I see. Even without the Tard Uniform you look like a complete Tard on a recumbent

Two wheels

Three wheels

Tandem Tard

Hell, put 100 wheels on this thing, add a rocket launcher, some bad ass flames and you’d still be a Total Tard riding a recumbent.

Do you Tard around town on a recumbent?