Tard Week: Chumlee from Pawn Stars

Chumlee from Pawn Stars was born when somebody poured a can of Monster Energy into a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and then put the bag in the microwave. Chumlee has been a staple on Pawn Stars for years now, although I don’t know who’s still watching it these days.

When you see Chumlee on TV you know immediately that he’s a tard, but for some reason when he’s on the show he’s telling everybody the history behind the stuff their trying to pawn. How does he do that? Its obvious that he has no education. Is he just reading it off a teleprompter?

If you look him up online you’ll notice that somehow Chumlee is worth 5 million bucks. He doesn’t even own the pawn shop. How’d he get all that money? I’ll tell you how he got it. Meth. Remember when he was busted a couple of years back and no one cared? Probably because anyone who watches Pawn Stars is 70 and doesn’t own a computer.

Props to Chumlee, our reality TV tard.