R.I.P. Bono

Shocking news breaking this morning regarding cock legend Bono of the band U2.

Last night, Bono attended a party in Los Angeles. According to reports, he mingled with other celebrities until around midnight. That’s when he started giving Johnny Depp an outside the pants hand job

Then reportedly made out with Nelson Mandela

After a few more cock-tails, Bono got on his bicycle and headed home. That’s when tragedy struck

Are you shocked and saddened by this turn of events?