Have You Recovered Your Rectal-Trinket Yet?

Most men over 40 will experience a swelling in their rectum. Science used to tell us that was a swollen prostate gland. A Dr. would stick a finger up your anus and feel for the swelling. Then you’d be given some medicine.

Thankfully modern medicine has made quantum leaps. After one Doctor got his entire hand up a patients rectum, the true nature of the condition was revealed. We now know that the lump we feel isn’t a swollen gland. No, no, no! It’s a special treat left by our magic friend the Rectum Fairy!

Once a man turns 40, this woodland creature will crawl out of his hive inside a birch tree, and shimmy it’s way into your rectum.

Once there he leaves you a special treat wrapped up in a fleshy sack. These are known as Rectal-Trinkets

They can come in many different varieties. The only way to recover these priceless items is to fish around in your anal cavity. If you can’t find anything with a finger, try a coat hanger or a sharp stick. Once you find the magical flesh sack, just burst it and your treat should slide right out.

If you have already recovered your Rectal-Trinket, what was it?

If you haven’t yet, what trinket do you hope to find?