Today in the news

Jill Duggar Dillard suggests having sex three to four times a week

I didn’t read this story because I don’t know who this is, and I’m afraid that if I find out, I’ll give a shit. If she suggests everyone have sex with her 3 to 4 times a week, she gonna get sore.



Trump U.K. state visit: Pro-Trump activist stabs “Trump baby” balloon in London


She later goes on to fight with the police, but what do you expect to happen when you stab the fucking President?

New York passes bill outlawing cat declawing, prompting pro-life outcry on state’s liberal abortion practices

Wait, what?


Instead of a graduation bash, this high school senior threw a pizza party for the homeless

I know I can be overly cynical, but wouldn’t homeless people rather have homes? Should’ve had that party. Pizza’s cool, though.


CNN harassed while reporting on Tiananmen Square in Beijing

Those crafty Chinese… always throwing homosexuals on electric bikes at freedom of speech. The guy in the wheelchair had a 12 gauge on his lap for hippy control.