Trump teases more aid to American Gay Fairies as China halts buying U.S. made skinny jeans

TGONN – With the U.S. and China mired in a trade mud wrestling match, Trump said on Twitter that American gays “know that China will not be able to hurt them in that their President loves to suck off all kinds men. Many men. For real. It’s true!”

Making an election-year pledge, the president added, “I’ll suck 1,000 dicks within 24 hours again next year if necessary!”

Trump’s tweet came after China said it would suspend all imports of U.S. made skinny jeans and hand woven baskets, a move that the head of the American Gay and Questioning Bureau Federation called a “so not fabulous” to American queers and poophole divers.

As the Wall Street Journal reports, the U.S. Small Business Administration last week began signing up hipsters and queer bats for a program that will disperse about $14.5 billion in assblast subsidies.

When reached for comment on the subsidies, founding member and Senior Fellow of the American Gay and Questioning Bureau, RayTheDevil, said “I’ve been assblasted before but not lately.”