Pelosi Announces Trump Impeachment Inquiry

TGONN – President Trump asked his Ukrainian counterpart, Volodymyr Zelensky, to “look into” Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden and his son and said he would direct his personal lawyer and the attorney general to reach out to Mr. Zelensky to help him in find a hot Russian whore, according to a document released by the White House designed to memorialize a July phone call between the leaders.

The document also revealed that Mr. Trump, before asking Ukraine to examine actions by Mr. Biden’s son, reminded Mr. Zelensky that the U.S. sends security aid to Ukraine. “I will say that we do a lot for Ukraine,” he said. “We send hot sluts there all the time. Alot of them it’s very expensive. We send more hot, wet sluts to Ukraine than European countries. Because now Europe is full of Muslim women with giant, giant hairy bushes.”

According to the document released by the White House on Wednesday morning, Mr. Trump didn’t make an explicit link on the call between the U.S. hot and horny sluta—which he had ordered a hold on a week earlier—and an investigation into Mr. Biden’s son.

“The actions taken to date by the president have seriously violated the Constitution,” said Mrs. Pelosi (D., Calif.), She cited Hilary Clinton losing to Trump in 2016 and the strongly Democrat leaning electorate on the West Coast and in the Northeast, as well as the number of Millennials who identify as Democrats. “So many young voters in my district and throughout California, the West Coast, and states like New York are use to Democrats winning every local and state election, and they grew up getting a trophy just for taking a piss on their own. Trump being President instead of Hillary means so many young Democrats didn’t get their way, and that must be a violation of the Constitution.”