Major Bird Time Announcement

Some things are inevitable. Everything must come to an end. Like my virginity. Thanks Frank Lapidus!

Another thing that’s coming to an end is Bird Time. Because I live in the North East United States, birds do the smart thing and fly away for several months. They go to Florida to shit on Bulgingsnake’s car.

I know this leaves a major void in many peoples lives. The thousands of fan emails I receive daily from Stan just prove this point. And since disappointing my fans breaks my fart box, I have come up with a solution.

Many episodes of Bird Time were filmed in my backyard, and this season backyards all around the world. We even visited Heaven in outer space. Hey Jesus! Thanks again for the micro pud.

But over the last 3 seasons another location has appeared in the show. The Bird Time Lounge. My evil twin brother One Pat Gang who murdered me in season 2 interviewed many ladies (and a vacuum) there.

So, if the birds are going to leave for the winter, then I’ll just have to check in on them. A stalker…ERRR, I mean bird watcher doesn’t give up because the bird moves away.

This fall look for my new spin-off series

Bird Time Lounge! With One Mat Gang

There will be jazzy good times

Celebrity bird interviews

Cooking demonstrations

And So Sooooo much more.

Remember my rant a few weeks ago about blonde mustaches?

Well, that little stunt earned me a call from a very famous bird. I’ve set him up as my first guest on Bird Time Lounge!

Be on the look out in the near future for this slice of revolutionary entertainment!

How many times did you cum in your pants while reading this announcement?