Read the Text messages Between U.S. and Ukrainian Officials

TGONN Pampa, TX – A newly released set of text exchanges revealed details about President Trump’s efforts to use American foreign policy to benefit himself.

Tanqueray.cock.png

The exchanges show how President Trump pressured Ukraine by tying two things that its president wanted — a meeting with Mr. Trump and the release of military aid that the Trump administration was delaying — to Mr. Trump’s push for investigations that could benefit his 2020 campaign.

  • Sondland Briefs Zelensky Ahead of Call with President Trump: On July 19, 2019, Ambassador Volker, Ambassador Sondland, and Mr. Taylor had the following exchange about the specific goal for the upcoming telephone call between President Trump and the Ukrainian President:

    [7/19/19, 4:49:42 PM] Gordon Sondland: Did you have to help that guy out when his truck broke down?

    [7/19/19, 6:50:29 PM] Kurt Volker: No

    [7/19/19, 6:52:57 PM] Gordon Sondland: As he hinting that he wanted help

    [7/19/19, 6:53:47 PM] Gordon Sondland: Was

    [7/19/19, 7:01:22 PM] Kurt Volker: He was going on about rock concert or some shit. Like I said, he wanted me to be his friend.

    [7/19/19, 7:03:51 PM] Gordon Sondland: Idiots are my favorite

    BS Sex Doll.jpg

  • Concerns about Ukraine Becoming an “Instrument” in U.S. Politics: On July 21, 2019, Ambassador Taylor flagged President Zelensky’s desire for Ukraine not to be used by the Trump Administration for its own domestic political purposes:

    [7/21/19, 1:45:54 AM] Bill Taylor: Can I send you a wig?

    [7/21/19, 4:45:44 AM] Gordon Sondland: Sure

    [7/21/19, 1:45:54 AM] Bill Taylor: Thanks

    [7/21/19, 4:45:44 AM] Gordon Sondland: You bet, anything for a friend

    Orby.dongorby.puff

  • Giuliani Advocates for Trump-Zelensky Call: Mr. Yermak and Mr. Giuliani agreed to speak on the morning of July 22. Later that evening, Ambassador Volker informed Ambassadors Sondland and Taylor that Giuliani was now “advocating” for a phone call between President Trump and President Zelensky:

    [7/22/19, 4:27:55 PM] Kurt Volker: My psuedo-psychosis is tour oyster.

    [7/22/19, 4:28:08 PM] Gordon Sonland: That’s beautiful

    [7/22/19, 4:28:26 PM] Kurt Volker: You should see my balls.

    [7/22/19, 4:28:48 PM Gordon Sonland: Probably not

    [7/22/19, 4:30:10 PM] Kurt Volker: I’ll see what I can come up with.

    KFC.fat.png

  • Yermak’s Informal Readout of the Trump-Zelensky Call: Following President Trump’s July 25 call, Ambassador Volker received the following readout from Ukrainian Presidential Advisor Yermak and confirmed his intent to meet Giuliani in Madrid:

    [7/25/19, 10:15:06 AM] Andrey Yermak: That sounds dumb as fuck. But go for it

    [7/25/19, 10:16:42 AM] Kurt Volker: Oh shit! Veronica just found out her ex boyfriend is her brother!

    [7/25/19, 10:17:56 AM] Andrey Yermak: He so lucky

    [7/25/19, 10:19:25 AM] Kurt Volker: I can’t wait to find out what happens next, 15 years ago.

    [7/25/19, 10:23:01 AM] Andrey Yermak: That’s a baffingly beautiful text

    [7/25/19, 10:25:14 AM] Kurt Volker: You been sippin on that acid again, boy?

    [7/25/19, 10:25:56 AM] Andrey Yermak: On the day every day my good man

    [7/25/19, 10:30:23 AM] Kurt Volker: I’ll post a rant later. It’s to early to start drinking.

    [7/25/19, 10:31:09 AM] Kurt Volker: Too

    [7/25/19, 10:31:47 AM] Kurt Volker: Fuckin hate phone add add ad add as as as

    [7/25/19, 10:35:59 AM] Andrey Yermak: I wasn’t implying you had to do this anytime soon. I just meant in general

    Ford.BS.png

  • State Department Officials Discuss a White House Visit and Ukraine Statement: On August 9, 2019, Ambassador Volker had the following exchange with Ambassador Sondland about arranging a White House meeting after the Ukrainian President makes a public statement:

    [8/9/19, 5:35:53 PM] Gordon Sondland: You doing ok, soldier?

    [8/9/19, 5:46:21 PM] Kurt Volker: I’m ok

    [8/9/19, 5:47:34 PM] Kurt Volker: I’ve started a new business. It’s like a food truck, but for unlicensed dentistry.

    [8/9/19, 5:48:00 PM] Gordon Sonland: That’s awesome! I’m sure your county won’t have a problem with if

    [8/9/19, 5:48:09 PM] Kurt Volker:  thats the beauty of the business model. Any complaints and I just drive away with their teeth.

    [8/9/19, 5:48:37 PM] Gordon Sondland: You should sale those Teeth to help pay for overhead

    [8/9/19, 5:48:38 PM] Kurt Volker: If they can’t pay, the become indentured servants

    [8/9/19, 5:51:18 PM] Gordon Sondland: As it should be

    OceanSpray,cockNike.Butt

  • State Department Officials Seek Giuliani’s Guidance on Ukraine Statement: On August 9, 2019, after Mr. Giuliani met with President Zelensky’s aide Andrey Yermak, Ambassador Volker asked to speak with Mr. Giuliani about the Ukranian statement:

    [8/9/19, 11:27 AM] Kurt Volker: Is it wrong to call a bisexual man a part-time pole smoker?

    [8/9/19, 11:29 AM] Gordon Sondland: No, why would it be

    [8/9/19, 11:30 AM] Kurt Volker: It insinuates employment?

    [8/9/19, 11:21 AM] Rudy Giuliani: FBT

    album.2.png

  • Discussion of Ukrainian Statement to Include References to 2016 Election and Burisma: Following the August 9, 2019, outreach to Rudy Giuliani, Ambassador Volker and Ambassador Sondland on August 13, 2019, had following exchange regarding the proposed Ukrainian statement:

    [8/13/19, 10:26:44 AM] Kurt Volker: That usually happens when your using multiple devices

    [8/13/19, 10:27:20 AM] Gordon Sondland: Like in the butt?

    toyota.wet.png

  • Confirming Desire to Reference 2016 Election and Burisma: On August 17, 2019, Ambassadors Volker and Sondland had the following exchange in which they discussed their message to Ukraine:

    [8/17/19, 3:06:19 PM] Kurt Volker: Did you see anything about gay Christians and veggie Sanders?

    [8/17/19, 4:34:21 PM] Kurt Volker: Lol

    [8/17/19, 4:34:39 PM] Kurt Volker: Bernie

    [8/17/19, 4:41:09 PM] Gordon Sondland: No. The only thing I see is what you posted. You probably accidentally hit something. I’ve done that before

    Lays.dong.png
    Clearly none of these texts are in Latin, so we can assume that no one even knows what “Quid Pro Quo” means.

    When reached for comment, Rudy Giuliani said, “Who is this, and how did you get my number?”