Uncle Steve’s Guide to the Impeachment: Part II

Spoiler Warning: If you have not seen Part 1, don’t worry.

Caveat: The opinions expressed by Uncle Steve in this article do not reflect the views of TheGreatOutdoorsman, Bulgingsnake, RockMomster, or any of the other authors.

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So last week, instead of listening to the radio while I went about my daily business, I chose to leave the computer on YouTube so I could listen to the impeachment hearing. I am still looking for the “smoking gun” that I keep hearing about. In my opinion, Schiff’s load was blown the day Trump released his phone call transcript, because that’s the only thing that even remotely ties Donald Trump to any wrongdoing. Here’s the highlights, as noted by the media:

https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/weeks-impeachment-hearings-30-hours-testimony-12-witnesses/story?id=67236623

https://www.nbcnews.com/Trump-impeachment-inquiry

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/live-impeachment-inquiry-updates/2019/11/25/0eabfc32-0f71-11ea-b0fc-62cc38411ebb_story.html

https://www.cnn.com/2019/11/21/politics/gordon-sondland-flight-brussels/index.html

If you look at these stories (and only these stories), you’ll see that Donald Trump is obviously guilty and should be hung by his testicles on the White House lawn while homeless children throw rotten fruit at his wriggling body. The above stories say that every witness called agrees that Donald Trump withheld aid in exchange for an investigation into Burisma, which is now commonly known as code for “the Bidens.” That is the charge; Ukraine wants money to fight Russia, but won’t get it unless you investigate Joe Biden’s kid. That should be easy enough to get 12 people to agree on, right?

BILL TAYLOR AND GEORGE KENT: BILL AND GEORGE’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE (MONDAY)

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Ambassador William Taylor replaced Marie Yovanovitch in May of 2019. George Kent is the Assistant Deputy Secretary of State for the European Union and a fashionista. They both testified that the regular channels for diplomacy were in place, but that an “irregular channel” was formed by Rudy Giuliani, and that the irregular channel wasn’t a problem until it’s goals went against the goals of the regular channel. Basically they’re both saying that RG was running around cutting red tape and doing what he wanted, and that’s OK so long as it doesn’t get anything else done. Taylor said that someone on his staff overheard President Trump (while on a phone call with Gordon Sonland) say he wanted investigations, and that Sonland told his staff person “[Trump] doesn’t give a shit about Ukraine” and “cares more about the investigations into the Bidens.” George Kent testified that Trump had the “Three Amigos,” Sonland, Kurt Volker, and Energy Secretary Rick Perry running his Ukraine policy, and that they, along with Rudy Giuliani, formed the irregular channel that was fighting for these investigations. Both claimed to not be “Never-Trumpers.” Neither claimed to ever having heard Trump say he wanted investigations, or that these investigations are a criterion for aid to the Ukraine.

You can find out about their testimony here: https://www.c-span.org/video/?466134-1/diplomats-bill-taylor-george-kent-impeachment-inquiry-testimony

MARIE YOVANOVITCH: THE AMBASSADOR THAT LOVED ME (MONDAY)

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Marie Yovanovitch testified that she did not tell anyone to ignore President Trump’s orders, as he would be impeached soon. She went on to testify about a smear campaign put out against her by Donald Trump, Rudy Giuliani, and the former Ukrainian prosecuter, Viktor Shokin. She does not have any direct information about the President being involved in any deals, but is upset about being shit on by the President. The Democrats on this impeachment panel wanted you to know what a piece of shit Donald Trump is for treating her so badly. Apparently she broke down in tears in the private hearings, but was unable to recreate her adverse reactions for the cameras. She now works at Georgetown University, for the State Department. Her only crime appears to be not hanging a picture of Donald Trump in her office. The only reason for her testimony (other than background Ukraine info) was to show that Donald Trump is an asshole. She admitted she has no knowledge of President Trump telling anyone that investigations were necessary before aid would be released, and that she wasn’t even involved when that shit went down.

Here’s her testimony: https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/6538652-Marie-Yovanovitch-testimony-transcript.html

LT. COL. ALEXANDER VINDMAN AND JENNIFER WILLIAMS: AN OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN, AND JENNIFER WILLIAMS (TUESDAY)

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Both Vindman and Williams heard the actual phone call, and testified that they were troubled about what they heard. Williams (an aide to VP Pence) said she didn’t tell anyone, while Vindman reported his concern to someone at the State Department, who promptly put the call on a “Top Secret” server. Both said they thought it was wrong to ask a foreign power to investigate a political rival. They also testified that they were not “Never-Trumpers.” Lt. Col. Vindman never once said “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!”  but did tell Pres. Zelenskyy to stay out of U.S. politics. Jennifer Williams is currently the hottest witness called (in my opinion).

If you want to find out about anyone else’s testimony, you can look for it on the internet. I’m having difficulty in finding reputable sources with just the testimony. CSPAN has it all, but in video format. Plus, I’m not your fucking intern; do your own work, fuckstick!

KURT VOLKER AND TIM MORRISON: THE LAST JEDI (TUESDAY)

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It is important to note at this point that the impeachment inquiry has moved from looking for evidence of “Quid-pro-quo” to evidence of “Bribery.” Volker originally told the committee that investigations were not even mentioned in any meetings. Now he says it happened, but the investigations were never a requirement for a meeting with the White House (I guess meeting with the White House is code for aid, or butt sex). Morrison, who was on the July 25th call, said Sonland told him the investigations were necessary to get the aid released. He did not report Trump for the call, but made sure the NSA was aware of it. Neither Volker nor Morrison look good in a bathing suit.

GORDON SONLAND: MY COUSIN VINNY

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Gordon Sonland is an American businessman who donated $1 million to Trump’s campaign, and was appointed Ambassador to the EU. He claimed to be best buds with Trump, so close, in fact, that they regularly swear in casual conversations with each other. Sonland opened by saying there was definitely a quid-pro-quo. He testified that he doesn’t take notes, but he probably said “He loves your ass” and “[Trump] doesn’t give a shit about Ukraine.” He claims to have had in the range of 20 phone conversations with Trump. He also testified that no one on the planet ever told him these meetings were required to release aid or get a White House meeting, and that he assumed that was the case. This is important because all previous testimony hinged on Sonland’s statement that there was an expressed request from the President to investigate Joe Biden. The media even went nuts with this statement, gluing it to their banner while he testified.

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He later contradicted his opening statement (which sounds suspiciously like it was written by someone else) by saying that it was all his own presumption. After this, it seems clear that Trump does not love his ass.

LAURA COOPER AND DAVID HALE: FAST AND FURIOUS 5 (THURSDAY)

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Laura Cooper is a Defense Department official who testified that she was told that aid was being held because Trump was worried about Ukrainian corruption. Her testimony makes it seem like everyone knew the aid was held (not accurate), and that she did not know why the hold had been lifted in September (Schiff says it’s because they got caught). Undersecretary David Hale testified that the State Department did not put out a statement of support for Marie Yavonovitch, which clearly shows Trump used his position of power to influence a foreign government to investigate his political rival.

FIONA HILL AND DAVID HOLMES: LADY AND THE TRAMP 2, SCAMP’S ADVENTURE (THURSDAY)

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Fiona Hill is considered a top advisor to the President concerning Russia. She made it clear that the Republican’s claims that the Ukraine and not Russia was behind the DNC hack were false. Russia did it, Ukraine did not. Except that no one ever said anything about Russia not doing it, they just said Ukraine also did it. Both Holmes and Hill testified that it was clear a quid-pro-quo was in place, and that the Ukraine would not get the aid unless President Z publicly announced an investigation into the Bidens.

UNCLE STEVE’S SUMMARY

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This was not the first public talk of impeachment that I heard. It was mentioned that Trump using a magic marker to change a hurricane impact map amounted to an impeachable offence. Knowing that the Democrats have been gunning for an impeachment ever since Trump went into office means I’m gonna need to see some proof before I get on this train. The only proof I have seen is the transcript of the phone call. The entire weeks testimony has been to build a narrative (story) around all these people that shows this corruption. Nobody testified that Trump, Giuliani, Sonland, Bolton, or anybody else told anyone that Ukraine would not get aid unless there were investigations into the Bidens. It seems reasonable to me for Trump to not want to give weapons to a corrupt government (even if they were all pro-Hillary). It seems reasonable to me that Giuliani would want to investigate exactly what was going on, specifically to protect the President from forces looking to sink him. Everyone testified they thought quid-pro-quo for political gain was bad, that they thought Yovanovitch got a raw deal, and that they are all not “Never-Trumpers.”

This is a fishing trip, and they drug up some shit, but not conclusive evidence. I suspect that moving forward, we will see some changes in the Democrats Strategy. I’m guessing the GOP will continue to point out that no one said Trump did this, and that this impeachment process actually started in November of 2016.

I found it amusing that these hearings were covered by all the news giants during the week, and then on Saturday Trump and Giuliani go on TV and publicly shit on all of it. In my humble opinion, this is way better than any season of The Apprentice.