“I was dreaming when I wrote this; forgive me if it goes astray.” – Uncle Steve, doing an arguably racist impression of Prince or Dave Chappelle
TGONN – Spirit Lake, IA.
Rudy, Rudy, Rudy…
I first heard of Rudy Giuliani when he was the mayor of New York. There’s a whole Wikipedia page for him, if you want to check it out. If you do, please consider giving them a couple of bucks, or you will anger Rudy Giuliani.
He worked with Bobby Kennedy. He took on the mob. He was TIMES Person of the Year in 2001. He’s Rudy Fuckin Giuliani. And he is a fucking LEGEND!
Yeah, he’s shit the bed a few times, I’m sure. But not this week. You may not know this, but there’s a bit of political turmoil in the good ol’ US of A at the moment. Democrats have pushed through Articles of Impeachment against the President.
The charges are more complex than I could possibly imagine, but I’ll do my best to briefly explain:
Donald Trump asked a foreign government for a public announcement that they were going to investigate Joe Biden’s son, Hunter. If they did this, they would get a meeting in the White House with Donald Trump, and then sit and look bored while the press interviewed Trump for 40 minutes. A meeting in the White House with the President would give President Z the ability to go Super-Saiyan when meeting with Russian President Putin.
Someone called foul about a phone call, Trump dumped the transcript (previously classified), and the Democrats (and myself) started cutting it apart to use for fodder against anything Trump. They Brought in Marie Yovanovitch, the ousted Ambassador from the Ukraine (yeah, I go both ways on that. Wanna make something of it?). I felt bad for her. Here’s a strong, educated woman that has carved out US policy, served the US under several Presidents and worked hard to fight corruption in the Ukraine. And Donald Trump bad-mouthed her on this call. We had a whole day of testimony from her, and she didn’t even hold the Ambassadorship when the call went down. Even if you take into consideration that she may (or may not, she is a professional) have worked against Trump’s campaign, I would still consider it to be inappropriate to bring her up in the call, other than maybe to reference someone new. My opinion, if you don’t like it, complain to TGO COMPLAINTS. You can expect an expedient response.
SO MUCH FOR BRIEF
During all of this, the former Mayor of New York is mentioned. I’d seen him a few times, flipping through news channels. He seemed as interesting to me as Nancy Grace. I figured early on that Trump would soon be firing Giuliani, because that’s what he does. News channels were cutting all kinds of “news bites” from the Dems in the House Judiciary Committee, but no clips of Rudy to be found. It turns out that Joe Biden told news outlets to not talk to him because he has cooties. Also, he’s ranting about some crazy shit about corruption in the Ukrainian Energy Industry, and that’s totally not even illegal or anything, so why even mention it?
“By giving him your air time, you are allowing him to introduce increasingly unhinged, unfounded and desperate lies into the national conversation.” – VP Joe Biden campaign, in a letter to anyone else listening in on the national conversation
Every morning, I check out my local news to see if I’m wanted, but also to keep up on current events. I then hit the internet’s most trusted source for news, Yahoo. But still, no Rudy. I actually had to google him, and I came across a WP* article that said he was doing a documentary. WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE. You’re telling me that there are elected officials in the US House of Representatives that are accusing Donald Trump, Rudy Giuliani and even House Rep. Devon Nunes (on the committee) of colluding with a foreign government to fix the 2020 election, and Rudy G. has footage?
Rudy Giuliani borrowed a jet from a Trump-budy, flew to the Ukraine and “Doubled Down.” Here’s the OAN spot:
Yeah, that’s Rudy. And if you don’t want to watch, he doesn’t say a fucking word. He is just sitting there. The guy talking in broken English (musse und skverral) took over for the guy that Joe Biden had fired. He says Yovanovitch got mad when he told her to pound sand because she wanted investigations closed. The very same Marie Yovanovitch that testified before the House Judiciary Committee that she never gave a “hit list” to anyone, and that she would never do such a thing. Granted, he’s tearing up paper to tell his story. Maybe that’s just how they do in Ukraine.
Rudy is putting out a 20 page report. If, as Joe Biden says, there is nothing illegal about his son’s seat on the board of directors for Burisma, then I just got trolled by the master, Rudy Fuckin Giuliani into an “Al Capones Vault” thing. Also, maybe he could hook me up with an energy company that will pay me $50K a month.
If Joe Biden was fibbing, though, and Rudy comes out with the paper, I’m sure there won’t be any more malarkey written on buses. It will have been taken out by a fucking hand grenade named Rudy Giuliani. A real American Hero!
But what do I know?
* EDIT – NOT WP, BUT WSJ. My bad, Mr. Giuliani. Please don’t sue me.