Bernie Bails on Bulgingsnake’s Ballot Binge

You’re not gonna believe this!

TGONN, WASHINGTON (AP) — Bernie Sanders retracted his endorsement for online personality Bulgingsnake in a Florida congressional race on Friday after coming under fire from supporters for backing someone who had made demeaning and controversial comments about women, Muslims and Mexicans.


“I hear my supporters who were frustrated and understand their concerns. Snake today said he is rejecting all endorsements for his campaign and I ass-blasted him good,” Sanders, a Democratic presidential candidate, said in a tweet.


The Vermont senator endorsed Bulgingsnake the day before in the special election to replace former Florida Rep. Lapidus X, who became lost after a trip to the bathroom on an airplane. Bulgingsnake is facing off against at least nine other candidates, four of whom are poll smokers. Snakes’s online news and Entertainment website, “The Grey Toutdoorsman,” has a strong progressive following, and Sanders had originally said the host was “a dong that we desperately need in Congress.”


After Sanders went public with his endorsement, however, he faced backlash from progressives online who pointed to Snakes’s past controversial comments and questioned why Sanders was backing him.


In one characteristic blog post, from 2019, Snake said, “So I’m out in public, doing public things, and I notice these fat, ugly bitches walking down the street. They notice I as I’m noticing them. I’m the most gorgeous thing known to the universe; ugly bitches kill themselves because they know I’m not gonna sleep with a fat, ugly, wall of cunt…”

Snake also came under fire for using “BEAN BURRITO” on his show multiple times; he acknowledged this week that “Qudoba” had a policy of using burritos when quoting Hispanics as a means of mocking them but stopped after complaints, and after having finished his burrito.

And don’t even get us started on Sir-Bomb Jacket. The man clearly doesn’t understand anything about wrapping his hair up in a towel.


Before Sanders retracted his support, Bulgingsnake announced he would not accept any endorsements. In a statement, he thanked Sanders and others for supporting him because “their tiny, flaccid penises slipped like wet biscuit dough between my lips.” But he said he had decided not to accept endorsements because “Bernie don’t wash his old ass balls.”


The primary is scheduled for March 3. The general election for the 25th Congressional District, covering only parts of Bulginsnake’s house, is May 12.

Rockmomster is still silent on her would-be-husband’s blatant abuse of an obviously mentally fragile climate change activist who simply wanted to know “How daaaaaaaare you!” While she was not available for comment, she was, according to our sources, “Smokin’ fuckin’ hot.”


Pictured here with unknown pedestrians.