Knocked Up? Don’t stress!

If you let the winter weather get the best of you… consider these photo styles for your pregnancy reveal!

This pose is called the “dont tell my wife I knocked up the waitress”.
(How dare they assume the baby’s gender for them!)

This one is really just a description of mine and Bulgingsnake’s relationship. He’s my 36 year old man child. This one is better for engagement announcements.
“I knocked up Stephanie the cashier at Claire’s”
“Mamaw, I’m fixin to be an uncle daddy. Theres a baby in Trixie’s gut”
When you’re a single dad of a shitty kid with oppositional defiant disorder and coach his recreation basketball team … and knock up Jeanie the single mom of 4 at the PTA holiday fundraiser. Slam dunk.
Classic. This is perfect for all the jocks in high school who refused to date anyone other than model esc cheerleader types but instead grow up to marry average looking chubby girls and eat hamburger helper twice a week, drink bougie beer, and flirt with 16 year olds at the gas station..
When you are both bisexual theater geeks who love shrooms.
When you aren’t sure which juggalo at the trailer park is the daddy… but it doesnt matter because you plan to do Meth and give it to the state anyway
When you’ve been in a lesbian relationship for years but accidently become pregnant and are trying to convince your life partner that your affair brought you both a love child from mother earth.
When you both used to be hipsters now you’re just second shift managers at Starbucks together
When you’ve already got one potato child and you’re not sure if you are pregnant or just acquiring mass…
When your stage name is Bunny and you are hoping this new baby will move you up the section 8 waiting list faster because you cant get child support if you dont know who to collect from
When your boyfriend gets pregnant right before the reassignment surgery
When you cant wait to share your little angel dumpling with the world…
When you want everyone to know you rode a stallion
When you meet someone new at the crossfit gym and totally hit it off.
When you’re youth group directors at the Church of What’s Happening Now and you finally lose your virginity and make the lord’s baby
When you met your lady off the old craigslist personal ads.
When you used to be a semiprofessional wrestler and want to show your softer side with your old lady
When you are preparing to be humiliating parents… who don’t understand humor or personal space
When you used to do cocaine off the toilet tank but now you’re going to be the envy of all the nickelback tribute band groupies
When you’re the CSM and you marry the head cashier so your coworkers treat you to a gift certificate for the Walmart Portrait Studio
When you and your lady are both former fitness competitors… who never placed.
When you get back from bootcamp and your high school sweetheart tells you that shes with child… which may or may not be yours
When you didn’t buy her all those cigarettes and Busch Beer while she was underage for nothin…
When you’re a socially awkward IT guy who is unable to take a photo without blinking or looking overly intense…
When you’re trying to show your trophy (2nd) wife Mindy that you have what it takes.

Did you take pregnancy photos with your significant other? Are you a virgin? Or strictly assblast?