White House Press Briefing On Mexican Beer Virus

TGONN – After a day of bitching about how Trunp is addressing the Coronavirus that originated in China, Trump held his first press conference in over 300 days to introduce a Coronavirus Task Force. A key point of criticism was that there isn’t a Coronavirus Czar. But Trump addressed that quite quickly in addition to the concern about whether the White House should ask for $2.5 Billion or $8 Billion for the task force.

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Next Vice President Mike Pence took the podium where we heard him talk for the first time in 3 years, and he mentioned someone was once sick in Indiana after getting their poop hole plowed while he was the State’s Governor.

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Then Secretary of Health and Human Services, Alex Azar took the podium. Mr. Azar didn’t really have a whole lot to say about anything since he is only in his role because Trump owed him a favor or some shit.

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Finally the people who really matter on the task force spoke. Dr. Anne Schuchat of the CDC took the podium and essentially said the beer virus was a big deal, but that it hasn’t really hit the United Statss yet. Because real Americans don’t drink Corona. They drink Coors Light!

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Finally, Dr. Tony Fauci, who is the Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases at NIH took time to speak. He was one short and ugly son of a bitch. He then got our hopes up about a vaccine before saying we won’t see it for at least another year and a half.
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So in summary, some doctors said some shit but nobody cared because Donald Trump.

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tgonn