Family of Missouri’s first Mexican Beer virus patient are tards

TGONN – The father of Missouri’s first Mexican beer virus patient disobeyed quarantine and went to a school dance with his other daughter on Saturday evening, officials said.

Villa Duchesne and Oak Hill School will close on Monday after school officials learned that the patient’s younger sister went full tard and went to the Tards Under The Sea dance even though most of the planet has lost what is left of their damn minds over the Mexican Beer Virus.

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The family was originally told to stay at home after their older daughter – who returned from Italy – contacted public health officials to report having symptoms of the fast-spreading virus on Thursday.
The family was told to stay at home, but the father brushed aside instructions by the state’s health department, according to County Executive Sam Page.

When TGONN reached out to Mr. Page for comment the health executive stated, ‘We’re not sure if he just wanted to pork his youngest daughter in the ass, or if the idea of a dance full of preteen to teenage girls was too much to pass up. This is Missouri afterall.’

In other Mexican Beer Virus news, ‘We’re all gonna die! We’re all gonna die! Nature has figured out that most people are tards, and has created a illness that will kill us all’

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