Where Do You Keep Your Meat?

With social distancing being enacted around the world, perverts who would smell women’s hair or grope them on the subway now are left with finding other options.

Good old-fashioned flashing has seen a major upswing as of late. Who doesn’t love a free peep show from a homeless man?!?

But pervs must pick their targets wisely. A man in Brazil found out the hard way;

Maria Ribeiro and two friends left her house and started walking down the sidewalk. Kids were playing. Things seemed normal. A man on a bicycle approached the women and slowed down. He began to unzip his shorts and reach inside. Maria decided to break social distancing rules and started running at the man.

That’s right. This pervert decided to flash a MMA fighter and jujitsu expert.

Maria chased the man down, “bloodied him up”, and held him until police arrived.

The guy said it was all a misunderstanding. He was only “trying to take a piece of meat from his shorts”

No meat was mentioned in the police report.

Where do you keep your meat?

What’s the best excuse for flashing you’ve used?