SORRY FOR GETTING TGO CANCELLED

Bulgingsnake’s apology to his readers and authors over workplace toxicity allegations hasn’t stopped new ones from surfacing.

“I’m Bulgingsnake, and I’m sorry about all of the workplace toxicity allegations.”

One day after the TGO  host broke wind in a staff meeting about the ongoing investigation of the internet, a new report from TGONN has dozens of former staffers making claims of “rampant sexual misconduct and harassment” on the set. And Everybody Loves Raymond actor Brad Garrett said that mistreatment by the Bulge — whose motto is “I CURED ASS RAPE WITH MY DICK” — is “common knowledge.”

According to the sources close to President Trump, top executive producers engaged in inappropriate workplace behavior, with one “being handsy” with female staffers and another soliciting oral sex at a work party (my bad).

Many of the new claims center around head writer Uncle Steve. A former employee claimed Steve was behind the work party incident — which they said played out in a restroom at a company event in 2013, and required the repair of several “glory holes”. Another former staffer said they separately saw Steve grab a male production assistant’s genitals, but only because he was falling off of a cliff and the production assistant could only offer his dong to save his life. Another ex-staffer claimed she saw Steve grope a production assistant in a car in 2017, but that’s gotta be total bullshit; cars weren’t even invented in 2017. And dozens of others talked about sexually explicit comments made by him, typically about masturbating to Whoppers.

Uncle Steve denied “any kind of sexual impropriety” in a statement to TGONN. He admitted he had “occasionally pushed the envelope into someone’s rectum” in coming up with “jokes about inserting envelopes into someone’s butt,” but said he’s “horrified that some of my attempts at humor may have caused offense.” He continued: “Dick and fart jokes aren’t easy. Sometimes you just gotta fuck up a bathroom.”

Several online petitions have called for the removal of the author, but in a bold move, Bulgingsnake signed all of them. Then he forgot about the whole thing.