You are currently viewing Uilick McGee’s Super Sexual Pizza Odyssey Volume I: The Ham That Rocks The Cradle

Uilick McGee’s Super Sexual Pizza Odyssey Volume I: The Ham That Rocks The Cradle

Alright this is going to be a doozy, so if you’re not big into slinging the ‘za, just skidaddle down to the comments and call me a dirty little stinker.

About a month ago an aunt of mine dropped a recipe my way for homemade pizza that was quick to make and easy to customise. So for the past 3 weeks I’ve been dabbling with making a good base, finding decent passata and learning how best to mix and match toppings.

It has been an interesting and mostly delicious voyage.

But McGee, how did you pull off this thing that’s so simple a kid could do it?
Well here’s how, motherfvcker!

300 grams of flour will give you two decent medium sized bases
To this we add half a packet of yeast, a tablespoon of olive oil, a teaspoon of salt, and 200mm of warm water. Mix like a bastard until it becomes a thick uncooperative substance
Knead this, using extra flour to prevent sticking and leave under a fresh towel for 5 minutes
Behold, Meat! Specifically a loin joint of ham. This is unsmoked, and has been pre-cooked in a pot for 90 minutes.
The shredding of the meat can be achieved quite easily with the application of two forks.
For this pizza I decided to add mushrooms (which I later came to regret)
Also included is diced and fried red onion
When your dough is settled, lay it out as evenly as possible in a tray.
Add the passata. Sprinkle some basil for taste.
If that’s your jam.
Bing
Bang
Boom
Bake for 15 minutes or until your cheese/base is just past golden brown,
then you’re good to go!

From mixing bowl to stomach this bad boy took 40 minutes (not including the pre-cooked ham). I fvcked this one up though with the addition of the mushrooms. They somehow threw off the flavour of the meat and cheese. Also I have my doubts about the quality of the passata I used.

Regardless, it still tasted really good, way better than the frozen crap in a box. I think for the next one, it’s pepperoni time.